I wrote this post last year after Covid stole a tournament from us the year before and I had a new appreciation for it. It’s funny because I have almost identical pictures from this year and thought it deserved it’s own moment in my 40th year documentation.
The sacred-ness of state – last year’s post
This year’s photos:
To no one’s surprise, my Dad’s favorite memories of me come from our days (and late nights) together in Pullman from my college days. Go Cougs!!!
I think one of my favorite times with you were the Dad’s weekends at Wsu! Great memories of the games and partying after the game, remember almost crawling home from the fire house frat to your apartment!
My favorite moments with my Dad:
– him calling me “Nadia” during my early childhood gymnastic days
– practicing the Dirty Dancing lift in our first house
– him supporting and watching all of my sporting events in high school
– sharing our love of all things WSU (especially Coug football games)
– him continuing to support my sports career and serving as our official FHS volleyball announcer at home games
Love you Dad!!!
As most of you are aware, I’m a pretty strict volleyball coach (out of love and competitiveness of course). Once practice starts, players are only allowed to talk about volleyball and we stay pretty focused on what we need to do during the two hour block of time we get to grow our skills physically and mentally.
And then at other times, outside of the gym, I get to know these players on a much deeper level. I hear about their interests, their life dreams and goals, questions and wonderings about our world, and of course some romantic relationship problems come up from time to time.
As a mom and educator, I really value these “in between” times of being a coach. We spend a lot of time driving in these cozy vans and other hours at all of our teammates’ houses (thank you by the way!!!) for team dinner once a week. I hope their families appreciate other caring adults speaking encouragement and life lessons to their children and I hope the players at some point in their adult life, think back to some of these conversations as critical points in an important decision or problem solving situation they will ultimately face after their career as an athlete in high school is over.
Yesterday during our van ride home, players were asking me about foster care and my experiences and per usual the comment came up, “I can’t imagine being that attached to the kids and then they leave your family.” To which I replied very genuinely, becoming attached to other humans and then letting them go is a CENTRAL part of the human experience that everyone experiences. I become deeply attached to both my players and my students for a few years at a time, and then we let them go to a new chapter and new adults to attach to. I cherish watching them from afar on their social medias or updates from their parents and I hold my pride for them always for what they gave to our volleyball program when they were at FHS.
One of the biggest lessons I have learned as I get older and have moments of attachment is to APPRECIATE the moments right there, in the present, while they are happening knowing this break in attachment will come someday. So full circle –> this conversation happened last night in our van ride home, which made me appreciate those sometimes very long van rides after a very long day of volleyball to which I can now include in my 40 moments blog adventure! Love it when that happens…..
When I asked my husband what he thought some of my moments would be for this series, his answers were typical life milestones (“our wedding, getting the kids, 3rd in state for volleyball”) and must to his surprise, none of those were actually on my list.
While I love a good milestone and celebration (especially if there is a reason for obnoxiously large balloons) – I am hoping to capture smaller moments that might not register to others outside of my circle when they occur.
One such moment in my volleyball career includes a team that did not place at the state tournament. It was the first year we won the district championship and some of our lessons and training in selflessness and teamwork that this story will highlight may have very well contributed to that success.
This particular season, we had a player on our team that was truly the light and joy of our squad. Not your “typical” athlete or volleyball player and without volleyball, some of my players probably never would have met this player or been friends with her (not because of negative qualities, just different circles and high school interests). But her uniqueness, humor and personality was something to be remembered.
At a team bonding event before matches began, around a campfire, players were sharing their goals and hopes for the season. This particular player went a different route then her teammates, not sharing any performance or post-season goals, but that her particular goal was to continue growing relationships with her teammates because “it was the first time she ever felt like she belonged.” (yes I was teary).
Fast forward a month later…..I get a ton of excited texts on a Thursday morning from what seemed like my entire team. This very same player was VOTED HOMECOMING QUEEN for the entire high school. Dressed all fancy and paraded in front of the school during the school-wide assembly with the pride of a champion. And her teammates, equally proud could barely contain their excitement both that morning and at practice that day. Turns out, the entire team rallied as her campaign committee to share her light and her importance to their classmates and got the school to recognize someone that might have flown under the radar otherwise.
Although it’s a small story, it’s a story about the importance of a team. The value of athletics and extra-curricular opportunities for kids in school. The importance of teaching character as a coach. How, in our program, we value everyone’s unique role and contribution to the greater good and accept folks for who they are, not just how they help us win. I don’t know all the specifics and behind the scenes work that this took. And that’s part of why this moment stands out to me – I had nothing to do with the idea or the orchestration of the campaign and the outcome. I, along with my newly crowned Queen, just got to live in the magic of others’ kindness…..beautiful thing.
This season marked our 8th straight trip to the state tournament. And NOT having it last season made me appreciate it just a bit more. Per usual, self-reflection is my self-care so I thought I would put a few thoughts about this special sacred time into writing (without sharing some secrets that make it extra special for future Ferndale players). And although the true definition of sacred has to do with something religious or a specific deity, I am describing state as something sacred, because it is something worthy of being HONORED….so here we go.
The most obvious thing that makes this time the “most wonderful time of the year” is that only a small number of teams actually make it here – playing into November, placing in the top teams at Districts and then coming to a location far from home to battle it out with other top teams is the icing on what was already a successful season. It’s celebrating the hours of grit and grind (and boards and EYP’s and Texas Tough drills) in the gym and making each ounce of individual effort worth it for the collective good and success of the TEAM.
The less obvious “sacred” things that stood out to me specifically this year are the traditions, both big and small, that older players know but don’t share (kind of like Santa but for a sports team) to the youngers. It’s the community and family rallies at the send-off and homecoming. The fans showing up across the state and caring about nothing else but your success. It’s the nighttime team meetings where we squish into the coaches’ room, play silly games, then review game plans for the next day (including the dreaded breakfast wake up call). And all the other little moments in between (see a few in picture form below).
And on a personal note, one of my favorite parts of state weekend is getting my entire coaching staff to MYSELF (okay to the varsity squad) for the whole time. While my JV and C team coaches have their own teams to invest in, it’s a bit of “passing ships in the night” during the season so getting them on the bench and around in practice sessions is the best. I am so lucky to constantly have a crew of caring and oh-so-knowledgeable coaches leading this program and the state tournament is our last hoorah together – being with folks that make me laugh and that I trust with the players on and off the court is something I don’t take for granted.
Last summer the world was shut down as the Pandemic raged. This summer, life is opening back up and we are resuming previously scheduled events. Although I enjoyed the slower pace and focus on family last summer, there are certain things that I didn’t realize I missed so much until I go to do them again this year.
One of those events is our FHS volleyball kids camp – bringing in the youngest volleyballers and opening up our gym doors and our players’ hearts to the community is such a time of joy. My players have always done an amazing job of not only teaching volleyball skills, but increasing confidence in the campers AND creating joy for the sport. In our town, kiddos play soccer basically out of the womb, so exposing them to a different sport is always a highlight for me personally.
My favorite parts:
Day 2 – dress up days
Watching my high schoolers experience the joys and struggles of coaching. Responses to “what did you learn about coaching”, they said…..
– you need lots and lots of patience
– picking teams was hard!
– clear and more clear communication
– pride when seeing them succeed
Creative drills to focus on volleyball skills – usually we do a candy challenge to practice passing to target. This year, campers got to play with the “all the rage” pop-its. And then the high schoolers were obsessed and wouldn’t put them down.
My last favorite – while the high schoolers coach, I get to connect with my coaching staff and plan/dream about the upcoming season. I seriously have a rock star of a team right now and am so thankful for their passion and love for our program.
Receiving messages from campers’ parents confirms how much this camp can do for our community and for individual campers –
“_____ had SUCH a blast. Thank you so much for you and the girls hosting. In the car she was like “wow….mom…I can’t wait until I get to high school. I’m going to play volleyball.” You guys made such an impact not here girls. Please host more!”
“_______ had a great time. Her confidence in her serve really improved and she is so excited to try out for her middle school team this year.”
Wow – it is pretty amazing to think this month marked one year since school (and the community) shut down to slow down the spread of Covid-19. We were in a dark place within our family this time last year….so I’m happy to look back on March 2021 with some positive and happy memories of life together with others.
Celebrating our last home game and our two very special seniors, Jamie and Libby. Nothing was normal for these two as they had to sacrifice many senior traditions due to Covid – but not this one. Our entire program contributed to make their night super special – that ended with a big win against Nooksack, their last memory at our home court.
Our first camping trip of the season – these sunsets, admiring WonderBOY growing and maturing while we chat at the fires, time to slow down, read and cuddle with our camping kitties.
I got to cash in two gift certificates to a local small-business, Kara’s Beauty Barn, and enjoyed the most delightful facial (and took advantage for their sauna)….perfect relaxing reward for the end of volleyball season!
And the official pick up for her cap and gown on the last day of March….in WonderGIRL’s words, “Well this makes it real now.”
February was a short month with a ton of events packed in….February 1st meant my 12th grader (she’s a senior?!?!?) and 7th grader got to return to in-person learning for 2 days per week. The day before, we had lots of nerves and questions and high emotions but both were ready to go the next morning. And the happiest guy on the block was Daddy….finally getting his precious 7 hours of alone time back after almost a year of missing out on these restorative hours after work shifts.
Although we are still in the middle of this pandemic, WIAA has shifted seasons and volleyball also started this month. With lots of new protocols and logistics to balance in my brain, being around my hard-working players who are so excited and grateful to be competing again has been amazing (and feels……dare I say it….normal???).
A few other fun moments from the month below…..
Still trying to hold strong to our family goals…..volleyball games during weekends made it tight but we did fit in our February hike on the last day of February. Hoping with the better weather, we can find new beautiful places to explore in the coming months! Also, how no one told me about the comfort of good hiking shoes…..game changer!!!
Obviously seeing this movie was a no-brainer for me. Actual competitive volleyball featured in a movie? And not just about catty girls that hate each other? Sign me up!!! I was sad to see it without my team (they’re going tomorrow as a team bonding event) but my kiddos obliged to tag along and check it out.
Helen Hunt did an amazing job showing both the angst and the joys of coaching young female athletes. Pushing females to be competitive beasts while loving the heck out of them can be a hard job sometimes….and obviously so worth it. The tears flowed for me (and the whole theatre from the sound of all the sniffles) as a player died in the film….which brought back a flood of memories for me from walking/stumbling my team through some extremely tough days when a teammate and the most joyful young human to ever grace the earth, Chelsey Ray, died from cancer almost 10 years ago.
Even down to t-shirts that honored the player, our story had so many similar strands. These t-shirts were and still remain very special to me. I had Chelsey actually stamp her hands on the back of each one – a metaphor for her literally having our backs both on the court and off. Mine has only been washed 2 times to this day, because any piece of touching her amazingness is priceless to me.
And just like in the movie, I think my greatest impact as a coach was helping the teammates through the tragedy with all the questions and all the pain….I loved talking with them, praying with them, honoring their friend and memories, and just covering them in love and grace. That’s what teams are for…..
Having a young, shiny teenager ask you to speak at her own funeral was one of the most humbling events in my life to this date…..it was at the “chemo date” pictured above where that happened, I still vividly remember the giggles, inside jokes, and other nonsense she asked me to include. I’m so glad that I scrapbooked during this time to remember the small moments, the conversations, the haircut where I held her hand in front of our community, her joy and her faith…..all things that inspire me to lead young people, especially young athletes to their own greatness in life.
Many people don’t know this, but prior to receiving the head coaching gig at FHS, I had firm plans to move down to Vancouver, Washington to start my counseling career down there. Chelsey’s impact on my life and the love and family feel of my hometown during this time changed my mind and my course forever…..and for that and to her, I am so incredibly grateful.