OOF – I was NOT prepared for how hard it was going to be to support WonderGIRL’s recovery at home from this procedure. Up all night, trying to manage the excruciating pain and pain meds, and the needs of other members of our family was something I am sure newborn parents know the demands of, but we had never experienced.

Luckily, brother and Dad were great helps in keeping her brain distracted from the pain (shows she binged: Vampire Diaries (again), The New Girl, Julie and the Phantoms) and going on walks in the sunshine.

The care and exchanges that happened during this time were so powerful for WG to attach to me….something that hadn’t happened in 6 years of her living with us. Many do not know, but WG has suffered from reactive attachment disorder for most of our time together – meaning she very easily trusts and attaches to most humans, but hasn’t to us, her caregivers and especially me, her mother. Up until this point, she hasn’t come to me for help when needed, doesn’t miss me when away, and doesn’t actively seek out any affection or attention from me.

The bonds that happened during this recovery were just what she needed to feel tethered to me and on the first day I went back to work in-person, I got many text messages “missing me.” She even told me after work that she thought something was wrong with her because she “thought about me all day.” We got to explain that this was actually normal for children and similar to what a toddler feels when being dropped at childcare for the day. I am grateful for this surgery in giving us all chances to heal and move forward.

A few progression pics from her one-month follow up appointment and scar healing:

This is “Mocha”, WG’s Higgy Bear, a present we found for her on the day of her one-month check up. She named him Mocha, in honor of the winner of the nurse milkshake competition. We got her a monkey, since she was telling all nurses that she wanted to get a pet monkey when she grows up while under the influence of her pain meds.

Thank you all of your love and check-ins on her progress. We are still amazed at the freedom that this procedure has given her….and can’t wait to see her mobility and flexibility grow and grow in the months and years ahead.

WonderGIRL was originally scheduled to have this Spinal Fusion Surgery in November of last year….due to the Children’s Hospital having some mold issues, the surgery was postponed (then Covid, then more mold….then we got a date)!

WG’s scoliosis had progressed to the point of needing surgery (see above x-ray) which you can imagine caused a huge amount of anxiety for her. Any major medical procedure is, of course, cause for anxiety, but for a childhood victim of sexual abuse – the vulnerability of being under anesthesia while strangers “fixed” your body really took a lot of counseling sessions and pep talks to even agree to the surgery. Even when she brought this fear up to her surgeon, the doctor’s response of “You won’t even remember it” did not appease the anxiety at all, instead, it multiplied the fear.

I documented the entire journey on my Instagram stories here if you want to peek – I’ll share a few highlights throughout my blog posts as well.

We had to go down to Seattle the day before for her Covid test and stayed in a hotel nearby….saying goodbye to little bro and Dad were hard (only 1 parent was allowed in the hospital due to Covid) but we tried to have a calm night before heading in early to her procedure.

She was so incredibly brave the morning of, amidst many tears…here she is waiting for the anesthesiologist to come in at 6am in the morning.

More to come on the surgery day and recovery….