Another installment of how we intentionally pay attention to our little wonders in unique ways throughout each month/season…..

Monthly Birthday 1-on-1’s (inspired by this blog post)
Each month, on their birthDAY (4th and 20th), each kiddo gets to stay up late with both parents for special 1-on-1 time. They get to pick the activity (one rule: NO screen involved). WG will often ask for spa night (nails and essential oils) and WB loves to bike ride or scooter around at night. While one gets attention, the other wonder is pretending practicing being happy for someone ELSE being celebrated and getting attention in a positive way.

“Speed Dating” game
We love using intentional eye contact as a way to bond with our little wonders. Sometimes we just make eye contact to “test” how long it takes one of us to look away. We did a 1-minute affirmation challenge (I called it “speed affirming” like speed dating) where family member pairs made eye contact for one minute. I tried really hard to find another title besides speed dating, but it was so close to that, I just stuck with it! One person gets to talk for 1 minute straight affirming all of the wonderful things about their partner. We started with parent to kiddo partners but also included husband-wife and kid-kid affirmations (adorable to listen to). This was another good activity to do right before bed to promote a positive transition to bedtime.

Sunset Reading Marathon
Our kiddos aren’t always super willing to drop everything and read. We try to be good role models in them being able to see us reading for enjoyment and learning from time to time but they can still be hesitant and stubborn around being forced to read. We also like to reward them choosing to read with a few extra minutes to stay up past bedtimes. So a few times a month, we let them choose books and as long as they STAY reading, they can stay up as long as they want. During the summer, we hosted these marathons in the back of our truck as the sun went down just a few streets away in our neighborhood. What a fun and cozy way to fall in love with our books and share the beauty of nature at the same time!
Interested in part 1? Click here!

Focus and attention are two primary concerns in our household. We struggle with WB and WG paying attention to our words, their own tasks and homework, and to the care and keeping of themselves. This will always be a daily struggle and we are charged with the job of being creative in how we can effectively manage life without going absolutely bonkers when repeating ourselves calmly 152 times.

But the kind of attention that we have worked REALLY HARD on changing the meaning of with both of our children is HOW we get attention, how we seek attention when we need it, and how we positively give it to safe people that we love. After childhoods filled with cycles of negative and positive attention for all the wrong reasons, we wanted to teach them both a few lessons here:

1. Sometimes people other than ourselves will get different doses of attention – and that is OKAY.
2. I can ask for attention when I need it (instead of acting out, talking like a baby, crying, creating a false injury/illness).
3. Positive attention includes eye contact, questions and responses to keep the conversation going, and calm tones of voices.
4. Just because someone gives me attention DOES NOT automatically mean they are a safe person or that they are close enough to me to kiss, hold hands, cuddle, etc.

I thought I would share a few strategies we use with our little wonders (many borrowed from multiple wonderful mamas and mommy-bloggers throughout the years) in order to teach these lessons on a daily/weekly/monthly basis.

Nightly “Talk Time”
As a way to practice social conversation skills and to creatively get some juicy tidbits about their days, we have started a short “interview” at the end of each night where each family member gets undivided attention while they share about their day.
Our four questions include:
1. What was your favorite part of your day?
2. What was your least favorite?
3. What did you learn today?
4. What are you grateful for?
This has become a valued routine in our home that can take place anywhere and with anyone (babysitter/family member) as a way to peacefully end the day and transition into bedtime.

Family Date Night
Each year, we nervously head towards WonderGIRL becoming a teenager and diving into the world of dating so we are extra careful about how we talk about romantic relationships and love interests. As a way to show her how one partner should treat each other, we like to go on random family date nights. We get dressed up, flowers are sometimes given, head out to a fancy spot and practice our best manners and conversation skills. Although WB really loves the attention and “kid friendly” restaurants, I think WG gets the most out of these experiences as she has an amazing father figure in Scott to teach her how a true gentleman treats his love.

More ideas to follow in a future blog post including our special birthday 1-on-1 time, “speed dating” game, and sunset reading marathons. Stay tuned!