Tag Archives: personal growth

On my mid-life “whatever you wanna call it”

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As I near the age of 40 (which means very little to me as far as ages go), I am noticing that this age DOES mean some things to people around me, especially women. And what I’m observing from both close and afar…..which makes me super excited, proud, inspired is that reaching higher ages and “mid-life” has prompted so many of my friends to “EVOLVE” or as I like to call it “up level.” They are realizing their potentials, they are healing themselves or accessing help to heal themselves, they are leaving toxic situation and they are pursuing their purposes. So instead of the old verbiage, “mid-life crisis”….I thought I would share a little about the collective “mid-life level up” I am witnessing around me and some resources you might be into as well.

Looking back on my life in creating my family within the last 10 years, my realization of purpose and prompts for healing needed to come earlier out of the need for sheer survival. Committing to a life of loving my husband and kids with complex-PTSD meant we all had to reflect on our own triggers, heal our reactions in small moments, and “do the work” (as I like to say) much earlier than might happen in typical family stories. This work included hours of therapy, handfuls of personal development reads and podcasts, tears and heartache, and hours of the holy grail of healing – meditation practices.

The books that keep “popping up” as inspiration in my journey:

Untamed should be required reading for all women. What Happened to You? should be required reading for all foster/adopt parents, educators and survivors of childhood trauma. Highly recommend BOTH!
These two reads are “the HEAVY and HARD work.” They are a bit more cerebral and will gut punch you at times with their prompts and concepts but if you can stay present and dig in, enlightenment is on the other side waiting for you.
I would recommend these books for “non-readers.” They are short stories and can be picked up, put down at any time. Great for coffee tables or travel. Small stories – big impact!

To all of my mid-lifers out there, I see you and honor you. Keep meditating and raising your self-awareness. Keep striving for your best self. And keep sharing your journey – you may never know the seeds of inspiration that grow in others’ hearts and be the missing puzzle piece for the evolution of another. Let’s level up together shall we?

P.S. And can I even do a blog post on personal growth without a Brene quote? I think not…..

”I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear: I’m not screwing around. It’s time. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go.

Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever.

Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.’’
– Brené Brown

On the 2nd annual Team HB annual review

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Last year, we had an official meeting at our local coffee shop and although the year got away from us for a number of reasons, I really loved the time to stop and reflect/look forward together. And because our children are ours, they have an affinity for workbooks and goal-setting right alongside me!

Due to coffee shops being closed, we grabbed some pizza and soda to go and set up shop around our dining room table for our meeting. It took 3 different sessions to work through the following agenda items:
– reflect on 2020
– set personal goals for 2021
– set family goals for 2021 (this portion took a solid hour and had some unprofessional behaviors that may need a write up from admin if I do say so myself).

Here are a few highlights from their work – always fun to look back on to see this moment in time:
WonderGIRL –

  • Very powerful lesson learned – for all of us.
Her self-reflection has been a HARD process this year but I am proud of her for doing some internal work that others survivors of trauma never have the courage to do.

WonderBOY –

  • President Biden already has a nickname.
A few themes – his love of Big Guy (Daddy) and some motivation and curiosity over Black Lives Matter. I love his heart.

Next up – our family goals (still marinating on a few):

Ready for action…..

Did you include your kiddos in any goal-setting this week? If not and you want to, I would highly recommend the Big Life Journals (they have different age workbooks as well)…..Happy New Year!

On my new relationship

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…with my body!!

Let’s just say historically, this particular relationship has been through a lot….abuse, neglect, anger, resentment and shame between me and the very thing keeping me alive every single day.

Evidence of growth – the taking of a photo of me in a swimsuit and then bonus growth points….posting it on here!

I struggled big time with disordered eating and dysmorphia after my “athlete” label was removed after freshmen year in college. And since then my body has been a tricky subject to address and deal with.

But in the past 6 months or so I have decided to heal that relationship….with regular movement, mindfulness and intuitive eating I really feel as though I’m in a new chapter of this story. A story I know many women struggle with….with comparison and shame and ridicule, I have said things to my body that I would NEVER ever say to anybody on this planet.

While all else was crumbling in my world, I stuck to the healing of this relationship. While everything else closed, I stuck to the commitments inside my home and inside my self. And I am positive that it was my commitment to my physical health that carried me through the worst valley I have found myself in emotionally as an adult these past couple of months.

This self care wasnt in addition to….it was the FOUNDATION of how I was showing up and taking on challenges thrown at me from every angle. My focus wasn’t on self care or even on how I LOOKED….it was JUST self preservation. And that switch in focus really changed some things for me and how I view this vehicle for my heart, my mind and my potential. And for that I am thankful.

I’m sharing this with you right now just in case you need to heal this very same relationship….or heck, even start a brand new relationship with YOUR body. I’m happy to help if you need a little nudge or a little accountability!!

I found this little email campaign that incorporates many of my new habits and would love to share it with you (7 days, 7 emails).

Click here to register and let’s go on this journey together!!