Chip and Dan Heath, in their new book The Power of Moments, describes a “defining moment” as a short experience that is both memorable and meaningful.

Using this definition, I wanted to document some of those moments I’ve experienced in my 40 years of life on this planet. Some were special and joyous, some a powerful lesson was learned (and even more exciting, remembered years later), and others are just words that stuck with me over the course of time.

I am going to tag these moments as 40 moments in the sidebar if you’d like to see them all in one place. —->

Imagine this human…..sitting at a table at Skyline Elementary with her 5th grade teacher, Mr. Larsen and parents at their student-teacher conference. Thinking I was pretty smart, getting good grades on most things and the worse thing my teacher would tell my parents is “your child talks too much” (a very common report card comment for me)…..

Instead Mr. Larsen gets real serious, leans in and tells my parents I’m not reaching my potential. (insert very nervous 5th grade girl who thought she was all that and ready for another glowing review conference here) That he sees me “lessening” my abilities to “fit in with the crowd.” He tells me “Don’t ever be less than you are to impress the boys, your friends, or people you want to be your friends.” These definitely weren’t trendy things in the 1990’s but currently this moment would be described as: mic drop. Mind blown emoji. Dead skull.

And although I probably rolled my eyes at the time – this lesson has stuck with me for the ENTIRETY of my life.

I am so thankful that Mr. Larsen took the time to grow me into something more, even when I was one of the “smart ones” in his class. That he was brave enough to say something hard in front of parents, not knowing how they’d react. That he cared about each student individually enough to share their strengths AND an area to grow.

So here I am, almost 40, and have actively practiced the art of “not lessening.” I work really hard to not compare my work to other school counselors or coaches. To other foster/adopt parents. To other women my age on social media. And I attribute this trait (and my resulting fairly okay on most days mental health) to Mr. Larsen, 5th grade teacher, meeting with a smart girl and her parents and sharing a hard thing.

Also, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t add:
Teachers matter.
Educators change lives.
Support your local school district (vote yes on our Ferndale levy pretty please).
Thank a teacher.
Bring them coffee.
The end.