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Tag Archives: inspiration
Weekend truth bombs
I am working on consuming more inspiration than comparison lately. I also love being motivated by others’ motivation. Here are some cultivated thoughts and visuals from my week. 
Quotes I live by (Wednesday)
You have to love your kids enough to make them hate you sometimes – my beloved Gramma, Audrey
I feel so blessed to have my Gramma in my life as an adult and now as a relatively new mama to older kiddos. She raised 7 kiddos, maintained a loving and beautiful marriage, and was the best party host I know (red cheeks from wine and everything – just like me!!!).
She actually said this quote to me when I was a young adult (like mid 20’s) when I got to play one of our many games of Scrabble together. I’m sure she was referencing perhaps a story I was working with as a new counselor or even a family outside of our own, but her words play in my brain and heart multiple times as I raise our wonders AND as I coach parents and families through struggles in my role as a school counselor.
Many people think children (especially children out of the foster system) just need love but what they need almost MORE than that love is BOUNDARIES. Someone to help them regulate their brains, their emotions and their bodies in a safe environment. I heard at a counseling conference that parenting always takes two hands – the hand of compassion AND the hand of restraint. Sometimes these boundaries look like a firm “no” but sometimes they look like allowing your child to struggle and to fail, in order for them to learn valuable lessons they will need as they move towards adulthood. And now as I parent myself, I understand why the parents I have worked with as a counselor struggle with this. When their pain is your pain, how can you sit back and watch the pain happen.
And especially now with those professional experiences and now with personal ones, I feel more passionate about the need for this restraint and this allowing of them to “hate you.” These lessons are what they will remember in the long run. You are not just creating happy children NOW – you are inspiring creative problem-solvers for the FUTURE when you allow them to navigate the hardships on their own (with your guiding hand and your loving and safe self to fall back on of course).
Tomorrow’s quote….tensions are rising (hint hint).
Quotes I live by (Tuesday)
Clean your own porch before you start on someone else’s (quote by a very wise GU volleyball camp director)
*This quote’s context was all about players not “coaching” and critiquing teammates’ on the court during play, but as I say often, volleyball is a metaphor for life and nothing could compare more strongly then THIS quote in THIS social/political climate RIGHT NOW.*
This one is pretty self-explanatory but again, I come back to it often when I have strong feelings that pop up either about something I see someone else do or say OR when I start perusing social media and hard, critical thoughts pop into my train of thought. How I combat these thoughts is by swiftly trying to “clean up my own porch” by thinking about my own past, my own actions and identifying what I could do to change/improve.
This self-awareness exercise has helped me in a number of situations (social media during the presidential campaign anyone???) and above all, lessens the strong feelings enough to move on. Not that I am a bold enough person to say many critical things of others that often anyway (unless you’re my volleyball players…..then…..well that’s the only way were gonna get better girls!!!!), but again, I don’t even like having the toxic thoughts and energy that judgement brings so I try to sweep them right out of up there as quickly as I can.
Hump day quote coming up tomorrow…..right from my grandmother’s sweet (and blunt) heart to yours.
Quotes I live by (Monday)
Along this winding road of 34 (almost 35!) years, there have been a few quotes spoken or read that have stuck out to me as not only useful, but rocks of truth that I find myself coming back to time and time again. I thought I would share those thoughts/quotes this week to document them into the permanency of blogland and as usual, potentially pass along the inspiration to someone else that could use it.
Love is a verb – Stephen Covey
Love DOES – Bob Goff
Although this quote is more of a cluster of little quotes with similar meanings – I love all that it implies. That love is a moving, breathing thing. It changes from season to season and looks different in each and every relationship it shows up in. It’s not just a warm, fuzzy feeling but that true love is in actions. I also remember reading from Bob Goff that as much as love DOES, it also DOESN’T. The importance of saying no and setting boundaries is just as important as what you say yes to. I come back to this so much, especially now with a busier “mama” schedule. We try to limit our activities, especially on weekends to recover and reset for our weeks that add stressors to my Wonders’ hearts/brains and to our relationships.
One other interpretation of this quote is that “love is work.” That work is hard, that work is tiring, and that work will kick your behind from one side of hell to another. And the real, actionable kind of love keeps putting the work in, even when you really really don’t want to (yes kind of true in relationship to marriage/romantic relationship struggles but this quote seems much more applicable to me in raising little humans into what are supposed to be successful, empathetic adults).
Stay tuned this week for more quotes….some of the true foundational pieces of how I live/choose my humble little life.