On glimmers

As I talked about in my previous post, the last 9 months have been excruciating on my mental health, my feelings of self-worth, and on multiple relationships in my world. I learned of “glimmers” last year at some point, but really found myself being intentional with looking for them as a coping skill during the “only kinda” bad days. On the really bad days, I just let myself feel, numb, and hide from the world (also a strategy that works for me in times of stress so I just let it happen and hope it doesn’t turn into too many days in a row).

What is a “glimmer”? In the context of mental health, a “glimmer” typically refers to a small, fleeting, or brief moment of positive emotion, hope, or improvement in a person’s mental and emotional state. It’s often used when discussing individuals who may be experiencing mental health challenges or going through difficult times.

For example, someone going through depression or anxiety may have moments of “glimmer” where they briefly feel a bit better, experience a positive thought, or have a temporary respite from their symptoms. These moments of hope or positivity can be important indicators of progress and resilience in the face of mental health challenges.

Here are a few glimmers I have had the foresight to capture and document with a picture:

My challenge to you, whether you’re in the good times or the not so good times, is to wake up and look for the glimmers. Reassure yourself that they’re there – the more you look for them, the more you find. But also, if you don’t or can’t find any, having a no-good terrible bad day is okay too (I am available to have one alongside you if needed!!!!).

On the “suck” of parenting right now

Last night I presented to a group of 60 or so parents and educators on supporting small children through the highs and lows of our world right now….they had great questions and affirmed that yes, parenting right now is extra crazy, extra hard, and extra exhausting.

I believe in my core that most, if not all parents humans are struggling right now to stay afloat in this pace and demands of life (pace pre-Covid, demands during Covid/racial reckoning/politics, etc.). So here is a little learning that I have discovered for my two kiddos with trauma that might help any of you work towards normalcy and calm during this pandemic.

Unpredictability, especially in brains with trauma, is the fastest trigger for a fear response, thus alerting our fight or flight to jump into action! Routines and rituals can help calm this limbic system part of our brain that is constantly scanning for threats or safety (ahem, the coughing next aisle over in the grocery store that you never paid attention to before)….with outside practices, social engagements, sometimes school and activities shut down – how can we set up routines and rituals within our home that ground ourselves and our children into a flow state?

Here are a few ideas that we have tried…

One of my fave places for our Take-Out Tuesday routine (trying to support local restaurants each week during the shut-down) – Skai Sushi!

If you have kiddos that already have BIG feelings and reactions, I’m sure throwing this pandemic into the mix hasn’t been the easiest transition. I did a post about this here if you’d like to read more tried and true strategies from my work as a school counselor.

While I think about this work, I am reminded that this time at home has been a time for me and my hubby to commit to intentional healing with our kiddos….we have the time to set new routines in motion, fix old negative habits, restore past hurts and for that, I am grateful.

The routines and rituals aspect has helped my energy level and patience through this hard time as it also gives me something to look forward to with my family….and the repeating each week just feels stable, calm, and safe in a way that I can’t describe.

What routines and rituals have you implemented since quarantine?? I’d love to hear more ideas!!!