This Christmas season feels different and a little melancholy for me….this year has certainly had it’s ups and downs and at one point, we were preparing for a big transition as a family. Not good or bad, just a transition that now isn’t happening. With one adult child out of the home and a teenager that has his own feelings about Christmas (mostly around going to event after event which is historically hard for him and both our kiddos with trauma – read more about Christmas as a foster family here).

So I thought I would take a moment and reflect on some of my favorite Christmas moments throughout my 40 years of life that still hold a special place in my memories.

Childhood moments –

• Special presents I remember opening: our family trip to Disneyland (mickey ear hats), my first cell phone at age 20, accessories for my American Girl doll Samantha, small creepy porcelain clowns (my mom wanted me to collect them?)
• Walking out to the tree Christmas morning always stands out to me as my Mom did a wonderful job displaying all of the presents that magically appeared seem so magical – I still love looking at presents under the tree and try to wrap them early so I can gaze at them from my morning coffee chair
• My older brother and I knowing where my Mom hid our presents and sneakily opening the carefully taped ends to get a peek before Christmas morning (sorry Mom)

Adult moments

• Our first Christmas with the Wonders – all of the magical traditions like cutting and decorating the tree, Christmas morning, reading stories by the tree each night, acts of kindness countdown….I loved seeing the joy and magic in their eyes
• Our second Christmas with the Wonders where we tried to fix all the errors we made in Year 1 with them (see post I linked above)
• Christmas cruise celebrating our adoption
• Seeing our extended families grow through marriage, new babies, adoption, etc.
• Receiving and compiling holiday cards that I look through every single year after creating mini books out of them (read more here)
• The joy of kittens and cats at Christmastime

Favorite gifts I have gifted over the years:

• Disney cruise

• Letters to Scott (and eventually the kiddos) to open and read on Christmas morning
• My Gramma’s Storyworth book to my Mom and her siblings (read more on this here)
• Special bracelets in honor of the Wonders’ birth mom
• BraveGIRL’s cell phone she desperately wanted
• Permission for WonderGIRL to date
• Two experience gifts I am VERY excited to gift to WonderBOY in a few days after posting this
• Small ornaments with photos of our family to grandparents
• Tickets to see Sound of Music in Seattle with my Mom and Gramma

I am hoping you all have a wonderful Christmas with your chosen or given families….I also hope if you’re not in the Christmas spirit for whatever reason, to release the “shoulds” and the expectations and lean into the care and keeping of you and your heart, whatever that may mean for you.