Tag Archives: adulting

On WG’s adulting adventures

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There has been a LOT of emotions surrounding WonderGIRL’s 18th birthday….not just recently because of the sudden loss of her first mother a month ago….but we have been talking about this transition for the past YEAR in therapy. Since WG doesn’t have many peers in the same life season or with the same life history as she does, her frame of reference for what being “an 18 year old” actually looks like is largely based on fantasy, movie/tv show reality, and a history of irresponsible people in her life who were supposed to be the “adults.”

We knew we had to be careful with how we talked about this transition and how we approached her emotions with it….but also how we scaffold what it does actually mean to be an adult and start assuming responsibility for parts of her life she can have some agency over.

We made a list of some “adulting adventures” to try out the week of her birthday (and had some great suggestions from FB so thank you circle of influence)….each day she resisted and tried to negotiate out of each one, but afterwards, I could see the pride in her heart and eyes with what she accomplished all on her own.

Adventure #1 – learning to navigate public transit using bus schedules and our iPhone. Also, returning product to a retail store.
Adventure #2 – PAPERWORK. WG applied for further disability support by going through her (very thick) medical and IEP files to find appropriate documents, then scanned and emailed to our social worker. She also called Children’s Hospital to check on the status of her survey and applied for a state ID card through the DMV. She thought this task was by far the most exhausting. All mamas agree!!
Adventure #3 – these two volunteered at the Food Bank in the morning and rode the bus home without an adult. Then we took the rest of the day to enjoy ourselves, pamper our bodies and treat ourselves to a fun night in a nearby hotel room. Self-care is something I have been very intentional in showcasing to her through easy and hard times in our family.
Adventure #4 – grocery shopping on a budget. WG was given $50 to buy breakfast/lunch supplies for a week as well as plan and cook a family meal for 4. Our taco feast this night was delicious and she did amazing at calculating how much she was spending each step of the way.
Adventure #5 – Mrs. Fix It! This was a suggestion from Facebook and honestly I needed the tutorial as well. Learning what each tool is for followed by the task of fixing a broken board in her bed. She surprised both parents with how quickly she picked this up!

And to reward our sweet girl, her actual birthday consisted of NO responsibilities….just a day at home (her request) with close family and friends stopping by throughout the day to show their love. Thank you to those of you that took time out of our family holiday to spread the love to our little lady!!!

I will probably share more of her journey a bit later on the blog but both Scott and I have been commenting on a feeling of “turning a corner” in our journey with WonderGIRL. We are hopeful that growth is sprouting in big ways right now and that the harvest of strength and maturity to take on her own life is coming. Prayers and good vibes toward this are GREATLY appreciated.

Adulting….

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adulting imageSometimes little flashes of realization come over me….and even though I’m 33 and fully a real-life adult, I still get weirded out by the fact that I’m ACTUALLY an adult. And this year particularly, I feel like I’ve made some big very minor adult life changes in my life…..and I’m not even talking about parenting because I still kind of feel like I’m my 16 year old self, babysitting my baby brothers in the summertime where laying selfishly in the kiddie pool sunbathing while they splashed around and squirted each other with squirt guns constituted “responsible caregiving”.

Real Estate stalking – 
I’ve been getting the itch for a bigger yard, some more space to play, an office, and a new neighborhood. Although we don’t plan on moving any time soon, it is pretty fun to peruse houses online AND watch an excessive amount of Fixer Upper on Netflix. I remember when we first laid eyes on our current home and I thought “we are so going to be here for the rest of our lives” (blame that on some newlywed Cinderella hormones I think). Especially adding two not-so-little kiddos into the mix here, I have changed my vision of a dream house. So if you know of any amazing gems out in the county (Scott says no Lynden), please send them my way!

Supplements – 
How come Mrs. Scanes or Mr. Adams didn’t talk about supplements in high school health or home economics? I have just started taking some supplements and I have felt a big difference in my energy levels and in the health of my skin and nails. And then when I ask other people about supplements and as it turns out, many of you have been taking supplements for years like it’s just a thing. So now I’m in the cool kids club….which isn’t that cool because it basically means your body can no longer handle life on its own and needs you to pump extra shmutza into it so it can operate properly. Lovely.
*Stay tuned for a future post when me and the hubby undertake a 30 day cleanse/detox which we start in one week. My first one ever and I don’t plan on liking it.*

Skincare – 
I have always gotten compliments on my nice healthy hair and skin….and I always downplayed that because I really didn’t do much to make it that way. I barely wash my hair or style it even and I was still using the same makeup and cleanser as I did in middle school. And now I’m wishing that I had relished in those nice compliments because my face is exploding with weird blemishes and gray hairs are just seriously popping out everywhere. Since I’m not a big fan of getting my hair done and colored, I decided that I could exert some sort of control over my skincare routines. When I received my first products to target this area, I had to do some serious googling about what toner even does and when it gets put on, but now I’m into it and loving the results. Each night after I apply my toner, moisturizing serum, and moisturizer, I feel like I just left the spa! I also got some magical Rose essential oil as an incentive prize and when I apply some of that….things just magically disappear and even out. Love that!

My lovely Grandma told me once that I would always envision myself as a 21 year old….and that no matter how old I got or what I looked like, when I pictured myself inside my head it would be my 21 year old self. Good thing I was so fashionable at 21…..oh wait.
21 year old - editNewsies hat + hoop earrings = all the rage in ’03. Happy adulting everyone!!!!