Home delivery fun

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I love having fun goodies delivered to our home monthly. Here a few things we order regularly that you might enjoy too!

Photos/Memory Keeping
Goovebook
This product was launched on Shark Tank and we absolutely love it at our house. Each month, you upload the last 100 photos from your camera roll (right on your phone) to the app and BOOM! 2 weeks later, you have a cute little flip book of your past month. They are only $2.99 per month and you can order multiple books each month (send to Grandmas for bonus points). We order one for each Wonder to keep their memories in their rooms/cars to look through when needed. Want to start for free? Use the coupon code: Hoelzle12.

Chatbook
I don’t post to Instagram a whole lot but we have gotten two orders of the chatbook and they are a great quality product (thick pages, captions included). We got our first one that included 100 instagram photos, including our pics from Disneyland) and it was a huge hit. Each book is $12.99 and ships automatically so you don’t have to worry about picking photos and uploading.IMG_2951Food/Snacks
Naturebox
Oh man do we love our monthly delivery of healthy snacks from Naturebox. This make a great addition to any pantry, but for kids especially, these are great cold lunch fillers or snacks for the weekend. There is an awesome amount of variety to choose from and you have complete control of your order each month. I have three free boxes to give away from my membership so if you’re interested in trying, just comment or message me and we’ll get you started!
natureboxDandelion Organic (local – Whatcom County only)
Every other Wednesday, we get an awesome bin full of fresh, organic, and locally grown fruits and vegetables. The cost is $28 (for a small bin, but there is a larger one available) and we love filling our fridge with these products. It motivates us to include these fruits and veggies in our meal planning and there is always something fresh and healthy available to our wonders when they are hungry. I love this little company made up of just a husband and a wife and they are always willing to accommodate our needs. Each week, you leave your empty bin and a check out on your porch and by the time you get home from work/school VIOLA! a fresh bin is waiting for you. Plus, you get to control each delivery and sub out products you may not use with their new online system. If you are interested, drop my name to get a discount on your first order!

Greeting Cards/Happy Mail
A Beautiful Mess-Happy Mail Subscription
I was given this subscription as a gift from my besties in Seattle and fell in love with each envelope that arrived in my mailbox. It includes a variety of greeting cards, art prints, and fun stationary to make snail mail a little more colorful and fun. It motivated me to give more cards to people which was such a needed motivation. We use the artwork in our home and always have a card on hand to give for birthdays, sympathies, and thank you cards (no more running into the grocery store just to wait in a big ole line for ONE CARD). Here is a picture of our hallway “gallery” made up of three ABM prints plus a cute drawing from WonderBOY:
abm wall art

Happy shopping friends!

on coaching….

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I am 11 years deep into coaching (9 years as head coach) and I have used every year and every experience to grow myself and my program into one that I am super proud of. It takes a ridiculous, constant balancing act to meet the various goals of administration, parents, and the players themselves. At this point in time, I feel confident in my role and can back up my decisions with experience, statistics, and general knowledge of my sport. I understand parents’ role in advocating for their children yet feel strong enough to know when other difficult team decisions need to be made to strive towards a winning season, the goal of any competitive program.

Any coach that sticks with a high school program for any length of time knows that parent complaints can be fast, furious and sometimes, cut deep. Overall, I have been blessed with amazingly supportive parents and families which is most likely a reason I am still in the same spot I started my career. However, I do think it is interesting to point out the irony in some complaints made about me in the past:
“She talks too much about feelings” vs. “She doesn’t care if my daughter is upset.”
“She only plays her favorites” vs. “I wish she would play the same people so they can get comfortable and start winning.”
“She makes the players feel bad for mistakes” vs. “She needs to get tougher on the girls when they are playing bad.”
“Players are afraid they will get taken out for making a mistake” vs. “Why doesn’t she take girls out when they make mistakes?” (my personal favorite)

Although these don’t surprise fellow coaches, I do want to say that I think it is completely possible to achieve some sort of balance when trying to reach the goals for all “players in the game” (parents and administration included). I know from my own experience that it IS exhaustingly hard work possible to grow a successful program from the ground up by committing to:
– high standards of behavior, both in practice/games and outside of the gym
– preparing for practices with the same intensity and organization that I expect players to have during a game and in their schoolwork
– caring about the player’s personal life and emotions while teaching them how to show mental toughness when competing
– having ZERO tolerance for disrespectful behavior, especially when it comes to how players treat each other
– teaching players about the game, so they don’t have to rely on just me for feedback during competition
– finding ways to have FUN during practices and games (even when we struggle) and then be able to transition back to business/game mode
– growing and learning as a coach alongside my players (creating/experimenting with new drills, attending clinics, etc.)

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In the last couple of seasons, I have found myself getting increasingly emotional about my current teams and their successes/struggles on and off the court. I attribute this emotion to the powerful combination of being proud of the work I have done, grateful to the parents that allow me to push their daughters outside of their comfort zones, and excited that I get to continue to do this work year after year with fierce, amazing young women that I love so much.

Wonders take over the blog….

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WG and WB have been very interested in the blog and what I’m writing about them specifically….today, they wanted a chance to publish their own random musings so here ya have it.

IMG_2847WonderGIRL says….
Okay, so what I was saying earlier was that Cat Valentine has this blog, it’s a slap, it’s a video where she just talks and talks and talks about random things. I haven’t seen them but we watched one on her computer and she talked about kittens and ya.

Ummm….hey can we go to the trampoline zone today? Ugghhh. You actually wrote that? What else can I talk about? Normally my brain just comes up with things and then I talk fast. Marco Murrey quit from his other team the Cowboys and he switched to the Philidelphia Eagles and it’s kinda sad because (WB interrupts: he misses his friends) he worries that his friends don’t appreciate him but I think it’s a good thing so he can have different experiences.

I’m full of attitude, full of joy, and trying to get everyone to have fun. (WB: and you’re fear and you’re disgust, quoting from Inside Out, one of our fave movies).

IMG_2846-0WonderBOY says….
What should I talk about? I’m going to do what I do in Science. My name is _____ and I don’t like it when my sister doesn’t share but I do. When we argue a lot, Scott doesn’t like it. We like football, basketball, and Seahawks.

I want to be a “fighterfighter” when I grow up and I will work at Scott’s station. I will have a wife, a dog, and me, and a baby but I don’t know how much babies we will have. And a cat. And I really want to explore in our little forest thing and our trail. That Jake and BJ sometimes don’t like each other when they fight.

You always say to me, “get your pajamas on, go to bed, and close your eyes. Oh and you’re so lucky to be my mama.” (prompt that we talk about feelings on our blog) You feel sad when I’m mad at you. Now I’m going to go play catch in the hallway. The end.

Positive attention strategies (part 2)

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Another installment of how we intentionally pay attention to our little wonders in unique ways throughout each month/season…..

Monthly Birthday 1-on-1’s (inspired by this blog post)
Each month, on their birthDAY (4th and 20th), each kiddo gets to stay up late with both parents for special 1-on-1 time. They get to pick the activity (one rule: NO screen involved). WG will often ask for spa night (nails and essential oils) and WB loves to bike ride or scooter around at night. While one gets attention, the other wonder is pretending practicing being happy for someone ELSE being celebrated and getting attention in a positive way.

“Speed Dating” game
We love using intentional eye contact as a way to bond with our little wonders. Sometimes we just make eye contact to “test” how long it takes one of us to look away. We did a 1-minute affirmation challenge (I called it “speed affirming” like speed dating) where family member pairs made eye contact for one minute. I tried really hard to find another title besides speed dating, but it was so close to that, I just stuck with it! One person gets to talk for 1 minute straight affirming all of the wonderful things about their partner. We started with parent to kiddo partners but also included husband-wife and kid-kid affirmations (adorable to listen to). This was another good activity to do right before bed to promote a positive transition to bedtime.

Sunset Reading Marathon
Our kiddos aren’t always super willing to drop everything and read. We try to be good role models in them being able to see us reading for enjoyment and learning from time to time but they can still be hesitant and stubborn around being forced to read. We also like to reward them choosing to read with a few extra minutes to stay up past bedtimes. So a few times a month, we let them choose books and as long as they STAY reading, they can stay up as long as they want. During the summer, we hosted these marathons in the back of our truck as the sun went down just a few streets away in our neighborhood. What a fun and cozy way to fall in love with our books and share the beauty of nature at the same time!
backup sept 2015 1773 backup sept 2015 1776Interested in part 1? Click here!

Patti’s Ode to Planners

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014(Left: Elise Joy’s Get to Work Book, Right: Erin Condren’s LifePlanner)

I have tried all sorts of planner systems and have always come back to pretty planners that I can write/doodle/sticker in to my heart’s delight. My only problem was that I would quickly become bored with each planner (mostly the cover) so after a few missed meetings due to me NOT paying attention to my iphone calendar or a cheap/boring paper planner, it was time to upgrade. Last school year, I loved the Erin Condren lifeplanner but quickly learned that I needed something else to balance my crazy work schedule. This school year, I am keeping TWO planners so that I can keep my life/family schedule separate from my daily “to-do’s” at work. Here is a bit about what I love about each of my planners (and links so you can pick one up yourself!):

Erin Condren’s LifePlanner
I love this planner for so many reasons. The vertical alignment and breakdown into 3 distinct parts of the day are perfect for my family’s MANY appointments throughout each week. You can customize your own stickers ($5 for an entire sheet) so that your own reoccurring events are always represented (see “Scott work” and “volleyball game” below). There is a ton of space in the back of each planner to take notes or write down gift ideas, etc. MY FAVORITE part of this planner is that the covers are interchangeable and thus, I can change it whenever my little brain/heart gets tired of the cover. Last year, I ordered three different covers and felt a little re-surge of falling in love with this planner when it showed up in the mail each time!
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The only downside to this planner is a pretty high price point ($60-$80 per planner) but I say it is soooo worth it. If you would like $10 off your first purchase, you can use my referral link: https://www.erincondren.com/referral/invite/pattihoelzle1019.

Elise Joy’s Get to Work Book
I have finally found the planner that my “to-do” list loving heart has always longed for. A neutral color, crisp design, amazing extra pages to reflect on the previous month, PLUS well-designed tear-outs to pin up for each month make this planner an all-around GEM.
Although I am a sucker for almost anything that Elise designs and sells (I seriously wish there was a frequent buyer/punch card or something), but this is by far her best creation yet and I am hooked. Her instagram hashtag #gettoworkbook is one of my favorites to scroll though if you’re interested in some planner addict action.

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Now you may be saying, that’s all great and fine Patti, but how does the rest of your family know what is going on???? And my very thoughtful reply is….I’m the boss, why do they need to know? we use a huge wall calendar (from Paper Source) located front and center in our dining room. Each month, I decorate and write out all of our events so that everyone knows when appointments are happening, family members are busy, Scott is working, etc. As you can see, when a family member is gone for an extended amount of time (Mama or kids in the summer usually), I use Washi tape to visually see that difference in our daily routines. Both the children and Scott appreciate being able to reference the calendar for future events on their own instead of needing to ask me each time.

016Do you have a favorite planner? Leave me a link in the comments below! Happy planning everyone!

Can I have your attention please?!?

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Focus and attention are two primary concerns in our household. We struggle with WB and WG paying attention to our words, their own tasks and homework, and to the care and keeping of themselves. This will always be a daily struggle and we are charged with the job of being creative in how we can effectively manage life without going absolutely bonkers when repeating ourselves calmly 152 times.

But the kind of attention that we have worked REALLY HARD on changing the meaning of with both of our children is HOW we get attention, how we seek attention when we need it, and how we positively give it to safe people that we love. After childhoods filled with cycles of negative and positive attention for all the wrong reasons, we wanted to teach them both a few lessons here:

1. Sometimes people other than ourselves will get different doses of attention – and that is OKAY.
2. I can ask for attention when I need it (instead of acting out, talking like a baby, crying, creating a false injury/illness).
3. Positive attention includes eye contact, questions and responses to keep the conversation going, and calm tones of voices.
4. Just because someone gives me attention DOES NOT automatically mean they are a safe person or that they are close enough to me to kiss, hold hands, cuddle, etc.

I thought I would share a few strategies we use with our little wonders (many borrowed from multiple wonderful mamas and mommy-bloggers throughout the years) in order to teach these lessons on a daily/weekly/monthly basis.

Nightly “Talk Time”
As a way to practice social conversation skills and to creatively get some juicy tidbits about their days, we have started a short “interview” at the end of each night where each family member gets undivided attention while they share about their day.
Our four questions include:
1. What was your favorite part of your day?
2. What was your least favorite?
3. What did you learn today?
4. What are you grateful for?
This has become a valued routine in our home that can take place anywhere and with anyone (babysitter/family member) as a way to peacefully end the day and transition into bedtime.

backup sept 2015 1809 Family Date Night
Each year, we nervously head towards WonderGIRL becoming a teenager and diving into the world of dating so we are extra careful about how we talk about romantic relationships and love interests. As a way to show her how one partner should treat each other, we like to go on random family date nights. We get dressed up, flowers are sometimes given, head out to a fancy spot and practice our best manners and conversation skills. Although WB really loves the attention and “kid friendly” restaurants, I think WG gets the most out of these experiences as she has an amazing father figure in Scott to teach her how a true gentleman treats his love.backup sept 2015 416 backup sept 2015 418

 

More ideas to follow in a future blog post including our special birthday 1-on-1 time, “speed dating” game, and sunset reading marathons. Stay tuned!

DIY Cleaner Recipes

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Confession: I am not a clean person and in fact, I rather despise cleaning (cue all family members/former roommates nodding their heads emphatically). So it was a shock to my husband and even to myself, when last Spring, I got quite the bug to start some Spring cleaning. I purged my entire closet, organized cleaning/chore schedules for the kiddos and also dove into the world of DIY cleaners. And now that I have started, the creative part of the process is just as fun as saving my little family from toxins and chemicals coming into our house. It is also saving us some money as we haven’t bought a single cleaning product since beginning this venture last April (the ingredients needed for most of these recipes is cheap cheap and lasts a long time!!).

Most DIY cleaners take a combination of the following products (I keep these on hand to mix together whatever I need):
White Cleaning Vinegar (I put lemon rinds directly into the container to take away the strong odor)
Washing/Baking Soda
Dr. Bronner’s Castille Soap (we love lavender and citrus)
Powdered Citric Acid
Rubbing Alcohol (or substitute actual alcohol collecting dust in your cabinets)
Various Essential Oils (message me for details on which brand I love and why)

Here a few recipes that I love from the ebook DIY Natural Household Cleaners by Matt and Betsy Jabs. As you can see, I write the actual recipes right on the label so I don’t have to search through the book to “refill” the cleaner every so often. If it’s easy to do, we’ll keep doing it right????

TBD Clean: All-Purpose Shmutza
3 cups hot water
1/4 teaspoon liquid castille soap (we use Lavender scent)
4 tablespoons white vinegar
2 teaspoons borax
6 drops lavender, 4 drops rosemary
Combine ingredients in a spray bottle. Shake to dissolve borax.
** I like to add specific essential oils that will also help my family and my mood on a day to day basis since we use this spray the MOST in our kitchen and living spaces. I love the dual purpose this spray can serve. **

TBD Clean: Dishwashing Soap
1 cup liquid castille soap (we use Citrus scent)
3 tablespoons water
2 tablespoons white vinegar
10 drops wild orange essential oil
6 drops grapefruit or lime essential oil
Combine all ingredients in a squirt bottle and shake gently to mix (we just reused an old Dawn container – works great!). If formula looks like it’s leaving streaks, add 1/4 cup white vinegar to rinse water.
** Even though it doesn’t suds like normal soap, it is effective and you don’t have to use a whole lot for an entire sink load of dishes. **

TBD Laundry Detergent
2 1/4 cups liquid castille soap (we use Lavender scent to aid in our kiddos’ need for calm at all hours of the day)
1 cup water
1/2 cup white vinegar
1 tablespoon powdered citric acid
10-15 drops lemon essential oil
5 drops tea tree essential oil
Combine all ingredients in container with a pour spout (I use the blue glass container you see above from Target a while back). Shake gently to combine each time before adding to washer. It will separate after time and become paste-like so I don’t make huge batches at a time. This blue container takes our family of 4 about 2-3 weeks to get through. I also add some white vinegar (with lavender essential oil added) into the fabric softener portion of our washer to help keep our clothes nice and soft!

We really love our cleaners so far and my next adventure into the DIY world will be soaps and hygiene products (including DIY deodorant and lotions). I not only feel good about eliminating chemicals from our home, but I save time and money by creating our own products instead of adding one more item to our grocery list. If you’re interested in other recipes, please feel free to message me or peruse Matt and Betsy’s website.

Happy Labor Day everyone (hopefully you’re not doing too much cleaning today and getting a little relaxing in as well)!!

Dear teachers of WB and WG…

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At our staff retreat last week, we were asked to write letters sharing the hopes and dreams we have for our children (real or imaginary) entering our school building. It was an emotional and high-impact activity that inspired passionate and hard work for the next two days from our staff. I thought today, our first day of school, would be a perfect day to share that letter.

Dear staff,
Thank you in advance for your kind and compassionate care of my children. I know that your work is buried in thankless extra hours and efforts but I see it and I appreciate every moment of preparation and love you have poured into your students already before they even walk in the door.

My biggest hope for my children this year is that they GROW and thrive. I want them to grow in their confidence in reading and enjoy the books that they are reading. I want them to love math and be excited about solving larger problems. I want them to have strategies for moving past “not getting it” and be okay in messing up and trying again. I also want them to feel every day that their teachers only want them to try their best, not get 100% or a 4 on every assignment. I want them to feel good enough as a student, even if they are not at standard.

I dream that one day, my children will blend in with other children, and not stand out with behavior problems due to their traumatic past. I hope that staff views their behavior through a lens of trauma, not defiance. They learned these behaviors from extremely abusive adults and now, I hope different adults teach them about kindness, self-control, and perseverance through their own actions and the guidance they provide to them.

I want WG and WB to walk into a classroom with a teacher that greets them by name and looks them in the eye to honor the unique and important people they are. I want them to practice controlling their impulses, be allowed “re-do’s” and also learn how to solve conflict with peers in a more calm way than they can now. I hope that this school year is a stepping stone to the future in them becoming successful citizens with careers that make them feel purposeful and relationships with family and friends that are mutually respectful, trustworthy, and free of abuse.

But my biggest wish is that my children feel safe, comfortable, and loved unconditionally. Loved unconditionally during the days/times that they are compliant, calm, and working hard. But more importantly, loved unconditionally on the days/times that they are defiant, out of his or her seat for the 142nd time, or being aggressive to another child. Those are the days/times they need your love and guidance the most and as fiercely as you can give it.

Thank you in advance for changing my child’s world for the better….
Mama Brave Dinosaur  (Mr. WonderBOY reading me one of his favorite stories during “carpet time”)


TBD and “the system”

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There is a lot of talk in the foster world about “the system” which seems to include the state department, legal system, CPS, and all agencies that supports (term used loosely) the most vulnerable children in our communities/state. From my experience and in talking to other families, it seems as though dealing with the system is much more discouraging than some of the hardships that come with caring for the children and their various traumas. People reply to my complaints with “ya…the system” or “I’m sorry it’s just the system” or my favorite “the system just doesn’t work that way.”

One of the biggest emotional roller coasters for us has been the timeline with our wonders and moving things along – not for our benefit as silly impatient adults, but for two little ones who long to be a permanent piece in someone’s family puzzle. We want things to move along for them, their healing, and their future mental health. It is hard when one person promises us a termination trial in October, then to get a phone call the next week saying it has been, in fact, set for February. 5 months probably seems like such a short time in their legal world, but for a 13 and 7 year old child, this time just feels like a gamble – more time for things to change or for stability to be ripped away.

So that’s where we sit. Here, in the middle of no-man’s land where we dream of making these children our own forever, but in reality, we have no power over their lives. When one or both are struggling and the voice inside my head (both professionally and emotionally) know that one judge’s decision could significantly change that struggle for the better, I find it hard to find the reason and logic behind waiting so long. So I turn to this little inter-space to make sense of it all….why do we get all of the responsibilities, but none of the power? All of the appointments, and the documenting, and the medicine, and the late night tantrums yet our say means little in front of the court? It reminds me of this sage quote from one much wiser than I. ? Many commented on my last post about the irony/magic of Team Brave Dinosaurs’ acronym being TBD (God thing #439 in our story) because our little family is in a lot of different ways, to be determined…..and these frustrations really speak to that being true. 

Many people know that documenting gratitude is one of the most monumental ways we can shift our negative thinking into positive thinking. And since we know our thoughts control our feelings (or did you know that? Well now you do) – I want to intentionally shift my thinking so my heart and emotions come right along with it. The SYSTEM is the reason we have WG and WB in our lives in the first place. The SYSTEM listened to reports that they were in danger and removed them from harm’s way. The SYSTEM saved them. The SYSTEM made us parents and trusted two rookies with a very important job. The SYSTEM helped create our family and for that, I am grateful and shall remain that way for the months/years/endless moments to come before a judge gifts Team Brave Dinosaurs with a promise of forever. And if when those thoughts fail to take root in my brain, I will just love them fiercely and rely on forces more powerful than us to take charge.IMG_0847

TBD and our beloved Essential Oils

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Three months ago, I dove into experimenting with essential oils as a way to take charge of my family’s health, both physically and mentally. It’s been a fun way to not only care for their emotional and physical needs, but I have gotten a creative surge from creating recipes for rollerballs and diffusers around the home as well. The added bonus is that both my husband and my little wonders love the oils and ask for them on a daily basis.

How we most commonly use them:
1. Daily application for mood management – we use Vetiver, Cedarwood, Lavender, and the Grounding Blend (carried by coconut oil) on our bodies and feet. I have seen huge gains here in their capabilities to calm down quicker and move on to a different task since using this combination. We have been able to transition WonderGIRL off of her medication for ADD in part because the oils have had such an impact on her focus/irritability/mood.  I also rub it on WonderBOY’s feet before bedtime – he loves the massage (connection with Mama) and it has helped him go to bed without as big of a fight.

2. Supplements – now that volleyball and school meetings/schedules have started, I am not the best in eating regular and healthy meals. I have noticed a huge difference since starting the supplements in my digestive system and general energy throughout the day, even if/when I sneak in a fast food trip in between appointments.

3. Diffuser recipes – we love mixing up recipes in our diffuser to not only make our home smell nice, but get some emotional benefits as well. Our favorite family recipe reminds us of the ride “California Soarin'” from Disneyland (it includes Cedarwood, Rosemary, and Wild Orange). My favorite benefit has been the diffuser recipe (Respiration Blend + Frankincense) in our bedroom, significantly decreasing hubby’s snoring (and all the wives/girlfriends say…SIGN ME UP)!!!

4. Cleaning products/laundry detergent – we have been working hard to make our home toxin-free (encouraged by our support of this wonderful documentary) and making our own cleaning products has been super-charged thanks to our essential oils!

If you are interested in learning more about essential oils and the specific brand that I chose (after a LOT of research), I would love to chat more with you about it. Feel free to comment or message me on Facebook and I can point you in the right direction! I had heard about the oils for a while and needed a helpful friend to guide me and answer all of my questions (even at 11pm at night while I’m perusing the internet – thank you Amy!). Now I get to pay that forward…..

Disclaimer: This is my personal experience with the oils and what works for me. None of this should be taken as medical/psychiatric advice. I’m simply sharing a personal opinion about a product that I use and like because it’s significantly helped my family and because I enjoy the creative process of making various products.