Intentional Summer 2k16

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We are heading into summer #3 with our wonders this year and after a lot of trial and error with what worked for our family and our children, we are excited to put some different things in place this year to set us ALL up for success and restoration. My wonders feel very threatened by unpredictability…..one of the many reasons that they both feel safe and secure during structured and predictable school days. During the summer, all I want to do is NOT have a schedule so that I can repair my soul and build my energy back up before the Fall. And therein lies the dilemma we have hit in the past.

After attending a workshop hosted by my friend Elizabeth McKinley, inspiring many families to not let summer pass us by, we got to draft what our INTENTIONAL summers will look like on these great posters. The kiddos and I enjoyed drafting out 2.5 months of fun adventures on the big calendar and getting excited about all that we get to do in our time off together.To help with our dilemma of structure vs. free-time, I decided to come up with a daily schedule for the days where we are at home for a majority of the day with nothing on the big calendar. We drafted time slots for different tasks we want done each day. This includes time for our modified home-summer school time and independent time (both wonders need practice at entertaining themselves and playing alone without adult direction). And then we leave the afternoons for getting out of the house for different activities. Free bowling, Trampoline Zone memberships, and the great parks around our county will be filling up our weeks and I know the kids will be excited no matter which option we choose!The nice part about this schedule for ME is that I know which times of our days I will have for my own restorative needs like reading, scrapbooking, or blogging and can plan accordingly while the kids are fulfilling their scheduled duties. I can also plan meet ups with friends and family around this schedule in my beloved new planner.

If your kiddos have a hard time with unstructured days….this scheduling system might be a good experiment to try! As a small sidenote, I am a firm believer to not structure my wonders’ PLAY (what we call independent time)….we tell them often that “boredom is a choice” and I want them to problem solve and be creative on their own. But that doesn’t mean I can’t provide predictability in the times when they will get to make those free choices and the times when we will adventure out as a family unit.

If you are interested in more inspirational content around keeping your family healthy and happy inside and out, please consider following me on Instagram under the username ROOTEDWELL.

The choice of “busy”

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I love this quote and all that it implies. I get asked the question of “how do have time for ALL of that?” often. And while I don’t mind answering it, I find it funny that I don’t actually FEEL all that busy at all. Or at least I don’t feel busy in a negative way – I feel FULL because my family and I are blessed to have so many things to participate in on a daily or weekly basis. I strongly that I am in control of my time, including that of my family and my children. I get to choose what I do with my downtime and I also get to choose how many activities and extra-curriculars my kiddos participate in which severely impacts our nightly and weekend routines. I also believe that some of my “busy” activities are pieces of my self-care like this very blog, scrapbooking, essential oil madness, and extra coaching duties. My “bucket of energy” truly gets filled back up when I partake in these things and thus I can put my whole self into my work and my roles as mother and wife. Even right now, I am writing this post, catching up on the Bachelorette, and texting a few friends about some ailments that oils might help with and I don’t feel busy – I just love fitting all of this into my life when I CHOOSE to.

What I know for sure is that weekends is a time for restoration and downtime for us all. I try not to over-commit to events and I always make sure we are home in between events so that we can participate in a team nap OR just release the energy that being out in public entails for my little wonders. This sometimes means I say no or I don’t plan as many social events but the pay-off mentally and emotionally is so worth it. I also know that when I do make invites to social events or classes, they are extended with the same grace and intentions I hope others extend to me. Come if you can….absolutely no judgement or hard feelings if you can’t!

My other trick to staying engaged and choosing my time is to always keep my cell phone on silent. By doing so, I get to choose when I engage with text messages from others and/or social media, versus getting constant dings and rings when notifications pop up. And although this makes some people frustrated when I can’t text back right away (my Mom thinks she’s sneaky when she asks “if I got her last text” just to shame me from not texting her back….I’m on to you Mom).

I think that our culture can “glorify” this busy-ness with many parents responding with “we’re so busy” as a badge or pride and accomplishment which can then pressure others into filling up every free hour with activities to measure up. And while that might be great and wonderful for their family, it doesn’t work for me or my kiddos and thus I have CHOSEN a different schedule. And that means being particular about what we let our wonders commit to AND inserting passion projects and hobby time into the schedule for my husband and I to keep us fresh as well.

If you’re interested in some reading around this topic for some management inspiration, I would highly recommend the following reads:
The Fringe Hours by Jessica Turner
Less: Accomplishing More by Doing Less by Marc Lesser

 

 

A few things I’m loving….

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Since I gave up wine for my 30-day detox cleanse, I’ve been missing my glass of red wine each night. I’ve been finding some comfort (and some relief from bloating) with this little “tea” I concocted:
1 cup apple cider
2 tbl. apple cider vinegar
1 teaspoon honey
1 drop on guard or cinnamon 
I’ve been disliking my bathroom counter top lately so I asked my crafty husband to do a reclaimed wood shelf and I am loving a little farmhouse feel in our very newly built (aka very vanilla) house.
As a Mother’s Day present to my Mother-in-Law Lori, I crafted a special planner with small pictures of her family members on their birthdays. I liked the idea so much that I used it to decorate my new planner and I love peeking through all the months and seeing so many smiling faces that I love so much.
My new favorite app straight from Shark Tank…..Felt! This app has amazingly cute card designs but then you can customize them and add your own handwriting (using your touch screen) for a handmade look. Plus, I only pay $5 per month and get to send 3 cards as part of the subscription plan (which I already used in the first day I had the app – oops).And just because I love how my little WonderBOY texts – a screen shot between him and Scott. I’m not sure what I was “letting him do because he is cute” but whatever it is, I am fully guilty of and for his exact reasons…..I better work on that before he uses that excuse for more than just staying up an extra 5 minutes or eating popcorn in the living room.

Insta-shopping

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**Disclaimer to my husband: stop reading if you still want to have fond feelings about me and my responsible shopping habits…..now. Thank you.**
Although I know fast fashion has its price overseas I just get so excited about cheap, trendy clothes popping up in my feed on a daily (okay hourly) basis. And with just one easy PayPal click they are on their way to my mailbox. ??? Here are a few of my favorite Instagram shops for clothes/accessories:

Pinkish Trends

Poppy and Dot

Mint Julep Boutique

Put on Love Designs (essential oil accessories)
Apologies to your PayPal account. ?

Planner switch-up

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Throughout the year I hem and haw over planners and who has what and what I like about each one and then each May I panic!!! Which one will I commit too? None of them have exactly what I want/need (very similar to house hunting btw)….grr! Why are they so darn expensive? See one of my first posts about my love of planners here!

I have been stalking the Inkwell Press planner and thought I was in to commit to this one for my planner this year. But when I ordered it and got it in my hands – it didn’t spark much excitement even though it was gorgeous without a doubt. Even with the chevron + wood grain cover (aka Patti’s dream design) – I couldn’t bring myself to write in it. Apparently I have strong planner intuition. ?

I remembered making my mother-in-law a special personalized planner for Mothers Day and I really liked the “Happy Planners” from Michaels (like couldn’t stop thinking about them and yes, I know that’s weird)….and double bonus that you can add in bonuses for what you need. For me, this meant extra notes pages, a post-it dashboard, and folders to keep goodies. And I also have a weird complex about crafty anything from Michaels but I decided to put that leftover Treasury of Memories mentality aside for a bit and lean into my planner wants and needs. Here are a few pics of my treasures:

 The monthly dividers are my favorite!!!

Using coupons, I got ALL of this for under $50 which is about half of what I usually spend. Woot woot – now how to carve out some me time to start filling all those pretty pages up!

The blessing and curse of a Mother’s Intuition….

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mom memeWhen I was a teenager, I attempted to lie quite a few times (sorry Mom). And quite a few times, my mother found out and I got consequences for those lies. It seriously BAFFLED me how she would find out every single thing I had fibbed about (both big and small) because our teenage brains really trick us into believing we’re invincible during that time. This biological wiring of feelings things in your gut about your offspring is an amazing scientific phenomenon and a saving grace for many wayward typical children….but it was also something that I was worried I would miss out on since we are choosing to grow our family through fostering and adopting.

But I have felt my intuition about our Wonders’ behaviors and words grow so strongly as we build our family together that it might not be a biological connection at all. There are truly little voices/thoughts in my head that tell me to ask a different question, look in a hiding spot under the bed, check the garbage for evidence, etc. and almost always, I find out something contradictory to their chosen story of the moment, however silly it might be. Today’s story: [Child that shall remain nameless] ate 4 hard boiled eggs during breakfast time (already suspicious)…..ACTUAL story: [C.T.S.R.N.] tried cracking one hard boiled egg and couldn’t. So they tried three more times, gnawed on the section that was clear of egg shell, then hid them in paper towels and threw them away.

And most of these times (today included), I don’t feel the conquering success of an FBI agent that has solved the case (see meme above). I feel extreme sadness that my kiddo felt scared enough to lie, hide, embellish, etc. and then I feel dread in having to have our 3,257th talk about telling the truth and why it is important. I feel trapped when we have to give a consequence when I still want them to enjoy their extra-curricular experiences and privileges. I feel insecure because our previous strategies are not sinking in. I feel fear about their future and what these lying behaviors might do in their chosen occupations or what they might do to their relationships, both with friends and significant others.

This motherhood gig is hard and it’s beautiful and it’s messy and it’s rewarding (ya ya ya)…..but it’s also evidence that God creates mothers to be GIFTED with powers that go beyond our biological makeup and beyond just a specific skill set in parenting little people. And for that, I am so grateful for this blessing of a mother’s intuition….and I’ll take the thousands of hard conversations, icky feelings, and the rotting egg smell coming from the garbage can that goes right along with it.

apps we love….

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Technology and screens can get a bad wrap when connected with children these days…..but there are some amazing apps out there that have been a huge help to our kiddos (and us) in our crazy household. So just in case you haven’t heard of these gems….here are our favorites to check out and add to your phones/tablets ASAP.

Emotions/Breathing Apps:
Calm – This is a game changer not only in our house but in my classroom as well. There is a charge (totally worth it IMO) to get access to ALL of the meditations but the free version is pretty awesome as well. You can choose your background scene and music and then pick from a huge variety of topics, choose the time you have, and then this lovely serene voice will walk you through progressive relaxation and affirmations. All of the meditations are appropriate for children BUT they just added Calm Kids with the cutest little meditation stories ever, especially for sleep.calm appBreathe, Think, Do with Sesame Street (for ages 3-6) – great resource for helping children with frustrations and problem-solving. The child helps the monster take belly breaths and I always watch the younger children breathing with them as they play this game. Love it!breathe, think, do appEducation/Learning Apps:
My Spelling List – this app is wonderful if your child has a weekly spelling list. You enter the words and spell them correctly with your voice….then your child can play games with those words and take practice tests. This has been a huge help to our 2nd grade WonderBOY and we can take his spelling practice on the road with us which is always helpful for us as we spend a lot of time in our car traveling to work/school and home.
**I couldn’t actually find this app on iTunes this time around so it was possibly eliminated but this one is very similar.**

KIZZU Letter Book – For beginner (or struggling) writers….this app provides repetition in correctly forming letters using their finger and the touchscreen. I like this handwriting app more than others because it does not give “points” or stars unless the child correctly forms the letter, even if the letter looks how it is supposed to in the end. They also have a number workbook which is helpful as well. Both of my kiddos (middle school WG included) really enjoy this app.kizzu app

And for adults – Photos/Video Apps:
Google photos – Need a space to store all those adorable kiddo and life photos? Hate deleting them off your phone like I do? This is a great solution and is completely free! This app automatically organizes them and backs them up so then you can access them from any device (perfect for people that don’t use Apple products across the board with their iphone).

1se – As many of you have seen, I am attempting to capture 1 second of our lives each and every day this year. This app has been a huge help in doing so and it saves my video clips so I don’t have to keep them saved on my phone. Some people are just showcasing one week at a time, others months, and I can’t wait for my year end 4:00ish minute video to see what a crazy ride our years always are! This example below are all clips from one vacation – perfect for this summer as some of you embark on your own epic adventures!second app

The depth of the fears….

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I know this is hard to believe but sometimes my teenage WonderGIRL has some “baditude” and occasionally gets some consequences that she doesn’t agree with (insert true teenage eye-rolling here). And when she stomps up the stairs and spouts about how unfair life is, I feel quite proud of my ability to have remained calm (that time) in the midst of the storm. I handle all her emotions because I know with confidence that she needs those very boundaries to learn and to feel safe. 

And then under my door the next morning is this:

And it KILLS me….my child has been robbed of the normal experience to just be angry at her mama sending her to her room because of this deep, dark fear of me abandoning her. So fearful that she has to beg me to forgive her when she doesn’t have to….when forgiveness flows like water in this house…and when the love I have for her is the most unconditional I have ever felt. 

We have overcome a lot of fears with WG over the years….general panic attacks, nightmares, bees sending her into a frenzy. But this fear we have to work on everyday, every chance we get and with every heart-felt “I love you” she gets. And I hope these small and large pieces of love that I get to pass on to her will carry her and her mental health on and over the waves of this storm. This too shall pass….

Adulting….

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adulting imageSometimes little flashes of realization come over me….and even though I’m 33 and fully a real-life adult, I still get weirded out by the fact that I’m ACTUALLY an adult. And this year particularly, I feel like I’ve made some big very minor adult life changes in my life…..and I’m not even talking about parenting because I still kind of feel like I’m my 16 year old self, babysitting my baby brothers in the summertime where laying selfishly in the kiddie pool sunbathing while they splashed around and squirted each other with squirt guns constituted “responsible caregiving”.

Real Estate stalking – 
I’ve been getting the itch for a bigger yard, some more space to play, an office, and a new neighborhood. Although we don’t plan on moving any time soon, it is pretty fun to peruse houses online AND watch an excessive amount of Fixer Upper on Netflix. I remember when we first laid eyes on our current home and I thought “we are so going to be here for the rest of our lives” (blame that on some newlywed Cinderella hormones I think). Especially adding two not-so-little kiddos into the mix here, I have changed my vision of a dream house. So if you know of any amazing gems out in the county (Scott says no Lynden), please send them my way!

Supplements – 
How come Mrs. Scanes or Mr. Adams didn’t talk about supplements in high school health or home economics? I have just started taking some supplements and I have felt a big difference in my energy levels and in the health of my skin and nails. And then when I ask other people about supplements and as it turns out, many of you have been taking supplements for years like it’s just a thing. So now I’m in the cool kids club….which isn’t that cool because it basically means your body can no longer handle life on its own and needs you to pump extra shmutza into it so it can operate properly. Lovely.
*Stay tuned for a future post when me and the hubby undertake a 30 day cleanse/detox which we start in one week. My first one ever and I don’t plan on liking it.*

Skincare – 
I have always gotten compliments on my nice healthy hair and skin….and I always downplayed that because I really didn’t do much to make it that way. I barely wash my hair or style it even and I was still using the same makeup and cleanser as I did in middle school. And now I’m wishing that I had relished in those nice compliments because my face is exploding with weird blemishes and gray hairs are just seriously popping out everywhere. Since I’m not a big fan of getting my hair done and colored, I decided that I could exert some sort of control over my skincare routines. When I received my first products to target this area, I had to do some serious googling about what toner even does and when it gets put on, but now I’m into it and loving the results. Each night after I apply my toner, moisturizing serum, and moisturizer, I feel like I just left the spa! I also got some magical Rose essential oil as an incentive prize and when I apply some of that….things just magically disappear and even out. Love that!

My lovely Grandma told me once that I would always envision myself as a 21 year old….and that no matter how old I got or what I looked like, when I pictured myself inside my head it would be my 21 year old self. Good thing I was so fashionable at 21…..oh wait.
21 year old - editNewsies hat + hoop earrings = all the rage in ’03. Happy adulting everyone!!!!