Hey mamas, ladies, anyone wanting to create a little financial boost for their family!!
I am looking to pour some time and resources into 1 person for the next month focusing on growing a stream of residual income….this looks like brainstorming a list of people in your life that love natural products, committing to hosting a few workshops online and/or spending time with me each week as I draft out each step of the way and help you reach your goals!
I don’t usually open this part up because I am super busy during the school year and I hate committing to helping someone when I don’t always have the time. But I do now and would love to help you with some business goals if you are interested. No previous experience necessary – just a love for people and essential oils (and even that I can help with)!
This stream of residual income for me has meant some special family vacations, investing in my Peloton bike and much more freedom in how I spend money for myself and my kiddos – I’d love to help you too!!! Please reach out to me if interested and we can talk about what it takes to get started….can’t wait to talk more about this opportunity!
There has been a LOT of emotions surrounding WonderGIRL’s 18th birthday….not just recently because of the sudden loss of her first mother a month ago….but we have been talking about this transition for the past YEAR in therapy. Since WG doesn’t have many peers in the same life season or with the same life history as she does, her frame of reference for what being “an 18 year old” actually looks like is largely based on fantasy, movie/tv show reality, and a history of irresponsible people in her life who were supposed to be the “adults.”
We knew we had to be careful with how we talked about this transition and how we approached her emotions with it….but also how we scaffold what it does actually mean to be an adult and start assuming responsibility for parts of her life she can have some agency over.
We made a list of some “adulting adventures” to try out the week of her birthday (and had some great suggestions from FB so thank you circle of influence)….each day she resisted and tried to negotiate out of each one, but afterwards, I could see the pride in her heart and eyes with what she accomplished all on her own.
Adventure #1 – learning to navigate public transit using bus schedules and our iPhone. Also, returning product to a retail store.
Adventure #2 – PAPERWORK. WG applied for further disability support by going through her (very thick) medical and IEP files to find appropriate documents, then scanned and emailed to our social worker. She also called Children’s Hospital to check on the status of her survey and applied for a state ID card through the DMV. She thought this task was by far the most exhausting. All mamas agree!!
Adventure #3 – these two volunteered at the Food Bank in the morning and rode the bus home without an adult. Then we took the rest of the day to enjoy ourselves, pamper our bodies and treat ourselves to a fun night in a nearby hotel room. Self-care is something I have been very intentional in showcasing to her through easy and hard times in our family.
Adventure #4 – grocery shopping on a budget. WG was given $50 to buy breakfast/lunch supplies for a week as well as plan and cook a family meal for 4. Our taco feast this night was delicious and she did amazing at calculating how much she was spending each step of the way.
Adventure #5 – Mrs. Fix It! This was a suggestion from Facebook and honestly I needed the tutorial as well. Learning what each tool is for followed by the task of fixing a broken board in her bed. She surprised both parents with how quickly she picked this up!
And to reward our sweet girl, her actual birthday consisted of NO responsibilities….just a day at home (her request) with close family and friends stopping by throughout the day to show their love. Thank you to those of you that took time out of our family holiday to spread the love to our little lady!!!
I will probably share more of her journey a bit later on the blog but both Scott and I have been commenting on a feeling of “turning a corner” in our journey with WonderGIRL. We are hopeful that growth is sprouting in big ways right now and that the harvest of strength and maturity to take on her own life is coming. Prayers and good vibes toward this are GREATLY appreciated.
Throughout the many trials of the last couple of months, I know that one of the only reasons I stayed strong through it all was a constant connection with my own body and commitment to my own wellness. Whether it was exercise, using oils daily, or my new commitment to Intermittent fasting, my body was well enough to support the emotional toll going on internally.
Here are a few items you might be interested in if you’re renewing a commitment to your own health and wellness this summer!!
5 more days to snag this kit and join our team with continuous education and personal coaching from yours truly. Need more info? We have a workshop Saturday and Tuesday if you want to listen in on zoom!Summer products have a ton of toxins hiding in them – start switching some of your must-haves with thees non-toxic alternatives and feel better about caring for your littles day in and day out of summer fun!I was skeptical of the impact of IF at first but now, I definitely feel more energy and more stabilization using the 16/8 method. The hunger pangs go away after about a week and I’m feeling really good about this new habit.
As an educator, I was hopeful about the school closure and what I would be able to accomplish with our 6th grader, WonderBOY. Then the first two weeks hit and it was BUMPY….tantrums, holes in walls, and a very frustrated mama who was also trying to work from home. He is a bit behind in multiple academic skills so I was determined to help him fill in some of those gaps while we had dedicated time to do so the last 3 months.
A glimpse into his weekly schedule….assignments broken down in morning and afternoon chunks (icons on side represent physical activity, chore, and water before game time).
And then, I decided I was ready to experiment. To put all of my hopes and dreams into what a “trauma-responsive” environment could look like for him (and in my actual dreams, what an entire classroom doing this might mean for so many of our students with trauma histories). So we shifted our expectations and found great success with the following adjustments:
1. Meeting him where he was at each morning. We held a morning meeting and assessed his mood, tired-ness, weather outside (impacts him greatly), stress level with family, etc. This improved our trusting relationship and grounded him in the expectations for the day.
2. Go over assignment chunks each day (not entire assignment at one time) and adjust if mood not fitting….this means we might move assignments around or add in more physical activity or rest time.
WB loved to zoom bomb my meetings and see if he knew any teachers on my calls – what a goof.
3. Work in 20-30 minute increments….we had a timer system set up that he was in charge of. If he worked for 30 minutes, he always received a break to move his body, relax his mind, or do mindfulness in between work times. This was the BIGGEST factor in him staying focused and him producing quality work.
4. Find interest projects – he was not motivated by the art projects assigned but we wanted him to stay accountable for completing assignments. We switched up the assignments to photography collages and/or painting with Dad so he was highly motivated to work on them.
This collage prompt was “How I know I’m home.”
5. Part of increasing the success we were having meant we had to DECREASE his work load. But that did not mean we weren’t holding him to standards….we stayed consistent in what we expected every day, gave him choices of when to do certain items not IF he was going to do them, and adjusted to his escalations/anxiety. And it was still tiring on certain days as evidenced by the picture below. This nap lasted 3 hours and instead of hounding him with work upon waking, we just moved his work to the following day. We considered each week as an entity with work due by the end of the week, not due dates each day.
A return to Kindergarten nap times in the old days.
So what came of this all? Our relationship is strengthened and he is a lot more open to our feedback than prior to this homeschooling. We learned a ton about how he works, when he is distracted, and how we can set up his work times better. And his work was crazy improved from what he was able to produce in class….I’m pretty sure some of his teachers thought I may have been helping with the actual work in disbelief WB could produce what he was producing. He improved two entire grade levels in his online reading curriculum…..and I am confident he can continue to do the work into the summer months without complaints.
Now can this continue in a school building? I am not sure…..so many distractions from peers, no 1-on-1 attention from a trusting adult consistent throughout the day, multiple stressors in a middle school life make this “trauma-responsive” environment a hard one to replicate.
But rethinking education a little might move towards a safer environment for kiddos just like WB….what IF they only had one teacher for an entire day? What IF they had smaller class sizes? What IF each day started with an individual check in with each student, assessing their emotional “availability” to learn for the day? What IF there was a space for kiddos to go and get basic needs met like food or rest without needing to get it by acting out? What IF we structured a longer school day with MORE breaks built in for busy learners?
Truth be told, I never really look forward to Mother’s Day. Internally, I can be so incredibly grateful for this role that I own and for the children that I get to take care of but every year for our family, it’s so freaking hard and complicated. Tensions are high and patience is short and it never works out the way each individual thinks it’s supposed to.
This year, we were one week out from having to disclose to our Wonders that their first mother had passed away. That they would be robbed of a chance they both wanted to see her again and ask her questions. That a piece of their story that loved them into existence had vanished without any closure.
And so I was worried. Worried that the grief and confusion of that event would stifle their ability to be joyous with me and appreciate their second mama.
Here is where the surprise came in….if you peruse the following images….
A dinner comprised of cheese and crackers (and no fighting or blood please) at the lake – mission accomplished.
Our day began and ended in the same way thanks to the brilliant sunshine that day – snuggles and chats in the little nest I’ve established on our deck.
What do you see? What I felt on that day and the days since has been what I am now calling my Wonders being “untethered.” They are no longer stuck in loyalty between two worlds. No longer feeling guilt if they love me more or wondering if their first mom loves them still. The tug-of-war has been (tragically) ended. And even I, a trained professional in this field, was blown away by how transparent this all was playing out right in front of me. Their mannerisms, their words, and their hugs just felt different and overwhelmingly deeper this year than in days past.
Since they have learned for their first mama’s death, WonderGIRL has been 143% more affectionate and kind toward me (see sweet letter above). The day after we told WonderBOY about the death, he started spontaneously claiming over and over again “you’re the bestest of the bestest of the mamas in the world” and hasn’t stopped since.
Typically as mamas, we don’t like surprises (or is it just me?). We like predictability and control and felt safety. But this surprise has been a good one and I wanted to document this day into history and perhaps adapt my own narrative about Mother’s Day in years to come.
On February 20th, I posted the following to my Facebook page:
In a matter of two weeks, so much of my world and my identity that I’ve worked very hard for has been questioned and threatened in ways I never imagined. My role as a mom, systems that are supposed to protect, my job, my sports program…..our family and me (along with a whole group of educators) could use some prayers right now to stay afloat. ? So much loss and uncertainty has been hard on all the hearts of Team Hoelzle Brown. I don’t usually post this stuff but maybe a little more “messy” on social media feeds will normalize the hard seasons of life and break down some walls between reality and online presences. And thank you to our helpers and our support system – I so appreciate you, your words, your check ins and your space when we need it.
And here we are on May 16th and I’m still struggling to put into words what has happened in our family (well and this world with a global pandemic happening) over the course of the past 4 months. There is a part of me that deeply wants to document the pains, the hurts, the injustice we encountered and the lessons learned here but also feel hesitation and don’t want to shame the loved ones involved.
So if you have been wondering, here is a readers’ digest version of our roller coaster the past few months – 1. (Week 1) Allegations were made that put our family in an open CPS and police investigation. This resulted in WonderGIRL not living with us due to a mandated safety plan. And resulting in an uncertain future for both our employment and her remaining in our care. (Identity as Mom and mandated reporter in question) 2. (Week 2) I was notified that my district position was eliminated due to a failed levy in our school district. A position that I am SUPER passionate about and know in my bones is a positive move for our community and for children in general. That same failed levy also put my next volleyball season at risk. (Identify as professional and coach threatened to be removed) 4. (Month 2) Then our state closed and schools closed and all of these traumatized and fragile beings were forced got to be in a house together 24/7 (minus WG) and the pain and the ripple effects during this stay at home order has been complicated at best. 5. (Month 3) 90 days later, CPS determined our case was unfounded (which we already knew) and now we are working to rebuild what a “new normal” looks like within our home….. 6. (Month 4) as the entire world determines what the “new normal” looks like for living, education, and beyond.
And just the irony of this all, if you had checked out my RootedWELL instagram story just days before any of this tsuanami of trauma hit, I was reflecting on “bits and pieces of my life and my interactions all colliding for good and for a purpose that is on fire within me.” And NOW in hindsight I am now considering (not believing yet) that there might be lessons in this for me to use. For me to light my passion even more. And like it says in the picture above, for me to use to help and guide someone else’s survival story.
I read today in an amazing book that I’m reading, “You have to endure the wound in order to heal the pain.” That resonates with me and with the mission we have for WonderGIRL and our family moving forward in a big way…..we endured the wound and now we heal. Prayers and good wishes are continued to be needed and as usual, thank you to our circle of loved ones for the check-ins, the support, the drop everything and come keep me company visits – all so very much appreciated.
Just so I NEVER forget….. April 2, 2020 Gas price a mile from home was $1.76 School cancelled – yes cancelled Self-distancing measures on the rise. Tape on the floors at grocery stores and others to help distance shoppers (6ft) from each other. Limited number of people inside stores, therefore, lineups outside the store doors. Non-essential stores and businesses mandated closed. Parks, trails, entire cities locked up. Entire sports seasons cancelled. Concerts, tours, festivals, entertainment events – cancelled. Weddings, family celebrations, holiday gatherings – cancelled. No masses, Churches are closed. No gatherings of 50 or more, then 20 or more, now 10 or less. Don’t socialize with anyone outside of your home. Children’s outdoor play parks are closed. We are to distance from each other. Shortage of masks, gowns, gloves for our front-line workers. Shortage of ventilators for the critically ill. Panic buying sets in and we have no toilet paper, no disinfecting supplies, no paper towel no laundry soap, no hand sanitizer. Shelves are bare. Manufacturers, distilleries and other businesses switch their lines to help make visors, masks, hand sanitizer and PPE. Government closes the border to all non-essential travel. Fines are established for breaking the rules. Stadiums and recreation facilities open up for the overflow of Covid-19 patients. Press conferences daily from the President. Daily updates on new cases, recoveries, and deaths. Government incentives to stay home. Barely anyone on the roads. People wearing masks and gloves outside. Essential service workers are terrified to go to work. Medical field workers are afraid to go home to their families. This is the Novel Coronavirus (Covid-19) Pandemic, declared March 11th, 2020. Why, you ask, do I write this status? One day it will show up in my memory feed, and it will be a yearly reminder that life is precious and not to take the things we dearly love for granted. We have so much! Be thankful. Be grateful.Be kind to each other – love one another – support everyone. We are all one!
Not all therapy happens in a therapist’s office…..I have relied on reading for personal development, self-awareness, and reflection during my morning routines for the past 2 years – all leading to what I hope turns into a better version of myself. It’s been amazing and I have learned sometimes a little and sometimes a lot from the books I’ve read. In case you’re wanting to read a bit more this 2020, I’m going to leave one line from what I remember/took away from each book here.
So much enlightenment in one STACK!!!
White Fragility – My own privilege and racism is here whether I like it or not. The Path Made Clear – So many seasons of life and so many different reflections and guidance needed at each one. Becoming – Inspired by her boss-ness, independence, and drive. Blind Spot – Haven’t read it yet but always trying to fill in the blanks of what I might not know about myself and others. No Fail Meetings – Stop having sucky meetings. The end. Leadershift – New leadership requires serving, not dragging along behind you. The 5 Second Rule – Stop waiting….5-4-3-2-1 do it. Scoot Over and Make Some Room – Everything in my family will be figured out, including how many kiddos come in and out of our doors and hearts, no matter their needs. The Body Keeps the Score – Trauma IS a diagnosis, IS NOT being treated the way it should be, AND explains so much of our mental health, education, and general system dysfunctions. *If you have been anywhere around me this year, I’m sure I’ve recommended this one….MUST READ trauma mamas and papas and educators and doctors and social workers and therapists, ETC. The Moment of Lift – Get me around powerful and passionate women and let’s change the world together (inspired one of my 2020 goals to do this)!! Quantum Wellness – Intentional eating, intentional everything having to do with my body – but it doesn’t take a grandiose plans…..multiple tiny steps creates massive impact. What Happened to My Child – Opened my eyes and brain to PANS/PANDAS and cemented my love and inspiration I find constantly in my friend Heather, the author.
Still inspired by flipping through this!!!
Enneagram nerds unite!!!
What other inspirational reads do I need to add to my list?? Let me know in the comments!
In my opinion, these snow days were pretty perfect. The snow didn’t last all that long. People could still (for the most part) get out and get to work/appointments as needed. And from what I saw/read on social media, many mamas and families were taking some needed time to SLOW down, breathe and just be together. This reminder of forced “downtime” always reminds me to intentionally schedule it in when not forced by the weather….
Got some family photos in during a nice walk with the sunshine shining!!!
There were a few life habits that I started during Winter break that I was a bit worried about keeping going during the work week and honestly, having some of these snow days really helped me cement in a few things like: 1. drinking 1/2 my body weight in water ounces 2. started a 30-day cleanse 3. moving my body daily for at least 30 minutes 4. more board games/card games with my kiddos/Scott 5. all diffusers running with essential oils to calm our home
Loved seeing the snow contrasted with a few Christmas decorations still up!My “grand central station” of coziness, reading, and personal development during the snow days (and my daily morning routine).
What about you? Any lessons you learned from snow days that you’re hoping to transfer to real life?
My goal this year is to get one blog post published every 10 days….when I printed last years blog book and it was very thin compared to others, I reignited my passion for documenting our stories, using my creative juices, and journaling more often to capture my thoughts.
Each year, I choose a word to guide my year….last year was value and (when I remembered it), was a good tool for me to assess my choices, my time and energy and people around me and whether they truly did match up with my values.
This year my word is vision – with a new position at work that is still being crafted, some side projects that I’m excited about and my WonderGIRL turning 18 this year….looking at the future, being clear about my goals and wishes, and making tangible steps toward those goals is really important to me.
My other thought in choosing this word is to be very clear and have boundaries around things that might be “blocking” my vision or getting in the way of reaching my goals…..energy draining meetings or people, distraction of social media/Netflix, physical health and energy, just to name a few that pop up right now.
Both Scott and I are loving our Start Today journals, along with my Miracle Morning coloring book and Bob Goff devotional – our days are getting off to a kick ass, take names kind of start in 2020!
Life update….still obsessed with the Enneagram – learning others’ types and diving deeper into what mine says about my motivations and ways of interacting with others is still making me geek out big time. So I apologize in advance, for all the enneagram statements and jokes I will say in your presence in 2020….feel free to let me know your “opting out” at any point this year.
