January faves

Posted on January 31, 2021 by Patti Hoelzle

I know I love reading and clicking on others’ favorite finds on the internet so I thought I would wrangle my favorites each month to share with you!

I have quite a few food recommendations so here we go….

We love this local delivery service and order often. Guud Bowls’ flavors are always so amazing (they rotate menus which I LOVE) and I like to order a few different flavors and have a few on hand, especially on weekends that Scott works. Some of my fave bowls so far are the Woodstock salad and Straw-vacado salad. The kiddos love the teriyaki kids meals (comes with delicious cookie dough and a juice pouch).

I ordered these from QVC and wow – they are pretty amazing!!! Will be ordering again.

This month, my goal was to prioritize my time and my spaces. One habit that I’ve seen plenty of others post about, but I never tried because Scott loves his little daily trips to the grocery store (I think it might be a firefighter thing). Each Saturday, I do a Whole Foods order and have it delivered on Sunday for lunch prep for the week. It helps me because I only order what I need and often can browse for healthier options when seeing it on the screen!

I love that they take a pic of your bags at delivery just to ensure they made it. Thanks Whole Foods!

I have always been an office supply junkie – so it’s no surprise that my office is growing into my favorite room in my home. I love starting my day in here with soft lighting, my diffuser going (with Adaptiv and Bergamot as of late), and planning out my day…..

I’ve been shopping around for a desk for a while – love this one that I can either sit or stand at when working.

Other faves from the month:
New podcast – Dear Jenna

Covid cleaning – with me already back at school and the kiddos heading back soon, being able to clean our devices and our masks are even more important. I purchased this Phone Soap device and really love how easy and fast it is for phones, keys, masks, etc.

On the “suck” of parenting right now

Posted on January 28, 2021 by Patti Hoelzle

Last night I presented to a group of 60 or so parents and educators on supporting small children through the highs and lows of our world right now….they had great questions and affirmed that yes, parenting right now is extra crazy, extra hard, and extra exhausting.

I believe in my core that most, if not all ~~parents~~ humans are struggling right now to stay afloat in this pace and demands of life (pace pre-Covid, demands during Covid/racial reckoning/politics, etc.). So here is a little learning that I have discovered for my two kiddos with trauma that might help any of you work towards normalcy and calm during this pandemic.

Unpredictability, especially in brains with trauma, is the fastest trigger for a fear response, thus alerting our fight or flight to jump into action! Routines and rituals can help calm this limbic system part of our brain that is constantly scanning for threats or safety (ahem, the coughing next aisle over in the grocery store that you never paid attention to before)….with outside practices, social engagements, sometimes school and activities shut down – how can we set up routines and rituals within our home that ground ourselves and our children into a flow state?

Here are a few ideas that we have tried…

One of my fave places for our Take-Out Tuesday routine (trying to support local restaurants each week during the shut-down) – Skai Sushi!

If you have kiddos that already have BIG feelings and reactions, I’m sure throwing this pandemic into the mix hasn’t been the easiest transition. I did a post about this here if you’d like to read more tried and true strategies from my work as a school counselor.

While I think about this work, I am reminded that this time at home has been a time for me and my hubby to commit to intentional healing with our kiddos….we have the time to set new routines in motion, fix old negative habits, restore past hurts and for that, I am grateful.

The routines and rituals aspect has helped my energy level and patience through this hard time as it also gives me something to look forward to with my family….and the repeating each week just feels stable, calm, and safe in a way that I can’t describe.

What routines and rituals have you implemented since quarantine?? I’d love to hear more ideas!!!

On Team HB’s new house assistant

Posted on January 15, 2021 by Patti Hoelzle

Early last year, I saw the idea of a house assistant from an oily leader I follow and was immediately intrigued. While I don’t necessarily make enough to justify hiring someone to do this full time, I know that my mental health would significantly improve if I could “outsource” small little projects and goals I have each week that tend to always be on my list and never get checked off.

WonderGIRL hasn’t been cleared to work quite yet since her spinal fusion surgery in September but has quite the itch to start earning and saving money. And since she has turned 18, we are starting the process of transitioning to experience what it’s like to pay bills, rent, etc. practice which you can’t practice if you don’t earn money!! Which led to my idea to have WG start some hours each week as our house assistant…..

The interview process – I “posted” the job for her to read and then she called and asked for an interview. We are trying to really simulate an actual working environment versus just glorified chores whenever she can fit in….hence the silly interviews.

She has worked for two weeks now (two shifts per week) and I think this might be my best parenting idea YET! I have found that I am more motivated to clean/get projects done when I make a list for her shifts and then the mental health and clarity I feel when said projects are completed has been huge for me!!!

Don’t tell her this but basically her list each week consists of things I know I should do around the house but basically don’t want to or have been putting off – then when it’s done, I think “Oh ya!!! that’s why I put that on my list way back when!!”

My goal this month was to PRIORITIZE….my time, my spaces, and people – and sometimes this prioritizing means you have to hack other parts of your world that are taking away from those priorities.

So….just an idea of any of you with a teen in your house that is not finding work OR other mamas (especially with network marketing businesses – what she does for my oils gig (organizing and creating samples, mail, filing paperwork, cleaning supply room, etc.) has been life changing. And if you don’t think someone in your own family might fit the bill for what you need, maybe think about hiring out – so many wonderful humans out there right now that might need work.

And then the payoff – what she bought with her own money recently!!!

One Little Word 2021

Posted on January 9, 2021 by Patti Hoelzle

I got some practice with my word for this year earlier in 2020 when it was needed desperately after some events literally broke our family and our future’s predictability into pieces. Restoring back to some version of “whole” was my focus for myself and for members of my family for the greater part of the year.

And now, I hope this word continues to be a prominent action (because I view it is an action, not an outcome) in our household but also I hope it takes root and grows and grows within our communities, nation and world.

My intentions for what this will look like:
– explore pathways to healing that we haven’t explored before
– prioritize time for each individual to find their “whole” self (personal development, mindfulness, exercise, etc.)
– prioritize time for relationships to heal and grow (not just as one larger family unit)
– become clear in the “why” of what I do, both professionally and personally

Obviously this is my greatest wish not only for the global Covid-19 pandemic but for the racial reckoning happening right now as well.

Also, a little knowledge to impart that I didn’t know before that inspired my choice of this word – did you know that “holy”, “health” and “hale” all come from the same root word, meaning “whole”? To quote Julie Holland from the book Good Chemistry, she writes “to heal is to restore to a state of wholeness. That’s my first job.” Amen and me too…..

On the 2nd annual Team HB annual review

Posted on December 31, 2020 by Patti Hoelzle

Last year, we had an official meeting at our local coffee shop and although the year got away from us for a number of reasons, I really loved the time to stop and reflect/look forward together. And because our children are ours, they have an affinity for workbooks and goal-setting right alongside me!

Due to coffee shops being closed, we grabbed some pizza and soda to go and set up shop around our dining room table for our meeting. It took 3 different sessions to work through the following agenda items:
– reflect on 2020
– set personal goals for 2021
– set family goals for 2021 (this portion took a solid hour and had some unprofessional behaviors that may need a write up from admin if I do say so myself).

Here are a few highlights from their work – always fun to look back on to see this moment in time:
WonderGIRL –

Very powerful lesson learned – for all of us.

WonderBOY –

Next up – our family goals (still marinating on a few):

Did you include your kiddos in any goal-setting this week? If not and you want to, I would highly recommend the Big Life Journals (they have different age workbooks as well)…..Happy New Year!

Hindsight is 2020

Posted on December 30, 2020 by Patti Hoelzle

The day that Joe Biden and Kamala Harris were announced the winners of the 2020 election – although so many things happened in my family this year that kinda defined the year, the hope and relief that moment held was hugely impactful for me.
Relying on exercise, movement, and meditation to keep me mentally and emotionally strong for my family.

3. Drinking a glass of wine/beer each night – figured out this severely impacted my sleep and my mood the next day.

4. My creative problem solving and reliance on my knowledge of trauma even when faced with “authorities” who claim to know more/differently.

5. Public speaking (writing?) about trauma, education, healing, etc.

6. That systems are broken, are subjective, and human error (even with the best of intentions) in a matter of seconds can change history….especially in the case of CPS, police investigations, racism, discipline in schools, equity in education. I already knew this on a theoretical level, but our involvement with these systems this year really brought me new perspective and lowered my overall trust in many things.

7. Our attachment therapist – hands down. Literally an angel placed in our lives 4 years ago (okay not placed, I actually stalked her in order to get her in my family’s life) and I don’t know how I would have gotten through this year without her. And my former stepmother, who stepped up to take WonderGIRL for 3 months during the hardest season of this year. I do not know what we would have done without her stepping up (and whether or not WG would still be here if she didn’t).

8. I am thankful for these silver linings (this could probably be its own post):
– trauma-informed classrooms and increased focus on social emotional health in schools
– zoom learning for WG and WB (with their attention and focus issues, this has actually benefited their learning big time)
– attachment and trust that has come after WonderGIRL’s spinal fusion surgery in September
– Scott’s openness to different modes of healing/therapy
– more people open to natural solutions for mental and physical health
– date nights outside under cozy tents
– learning that I am more of a homebody than I thought and the slower pace of life without over scheduling is key to our collective wellness
– soft clothes, pajamas, jumpers please and thank you
– so much board game time with our kiddos this year (Dutch Blitz, Phase 10, and Sequence)
– extra time for camping and road trips
– no Fall volleyball season means I got to celebrate my birthday in Vegas with my girlies!

9. Dear self (full of optimism and vision and hope),
Hold on for dear life. You know what you’re doing. They need you. You will get to the other side. It’s okay not to be okay.
Love,
Me (full of more accurate vision of reality and still a little hope left)

10. Wildest dreams for 2021: More time for this……

Just kidding (kind of). Still marinating on what next year could look like….stay tuned!

On the quiet of this space

Posted on December 28, 2020 by Patti Hoelzle

I’ve only written 13 blog posts this year – my quietest writing year yet. Although the written words have been missing, my brain (and iPhone notes) have been alive with an almost overwhelming amount of thoughts, action plans, new understandings and unlearning of things I thought I knew. I do know for certain that 2020 was a monumental year for our family – some pretty tragic things happened that changed the gameplan for our future…..as well as some miracles that gave me hope along the way.

I want to capture those contradictory circumstances somehow here….for future generations to read and learn from our mistakes and our wins. To reflect on this historical year of 2020 and all that it was in the world, in our culture, and in my teeny tiny family as well. While I don’t have a whole lot going on this week (besides holding a few things together by a thread – see below image), it is my intention to reflect and wrap things up with some blog posts so stay tuned…..and join along in this reflection party if you’d like! I would love some (virtual) company!

On our cozy Covid Christmas

Posted on December 25, 2020 by Patti Hoelzle

To be honest, this year didn’t look a whole lot different for us….we learned early with the kiddos (this is our 6th Christmas with our Wonders!) that a ton of events around this holiday is NOT healthy for any of us. So just like in years past, we spread out family gatherings (and used masks when appropriate), we had a slow Christmas morning with minimal presents and stimuli, and increased the answer “yes” to many of their requests.

Here are a few happy pictures I want to remember from this year:

New happy jams – and the perfect Christmas card picture we took the day after I ordered our Christmas cards. Just the way 2020 worked for all of us…..bad timing!

Waiting for Daddy to get off work was hard!

And because it’s funny – I went crazy with the Snapchat filters on Savannah and he hated every moment of it. Scott at work thoroughly enjoyed however.

On Gramma turning 90!

Posted on December 21, 2020 by Patti Hoelzle

I have been so lucky to live so close and have this woman in my life for my entire life – today she turns 90!!!! Her strength and stories of the ups and downs of motherhood are my favorite….

I got a very special visit yesterday and got to gift her some special video love from all of her grands and great grands.

Much needed for both of our spirits.

Happy birthday Gramma!!! Oodles and oodles of love….

On retirement

Posted on December 17, 2020 by Patti Hoelzle

Today was my Mom’s last day of work at a credit union she’s been at for 36 years!!! I have so many memories of her at work and all of the incredible people she has worked with so I can’t even imagine how bittersweet this might feel for her…..

Without the ability to throw a party, her coworkers (and us family members) got to be creative in how to celebrate her and her legacy of hard work and dedication to this place and their members.

The siblings and I each took a day to deliver a surprise to her for her last week. My day was Thursday but since I also had to work, we did a little secret mission Wednesday night for her to see the next morning.

Her coworkers organized a video with past colleagues sharing messages of love and appreciation so we joined in the fun with a little addition from her kiddos. Click here to see video.

As with any retirement, this brings up wonderings about my impact and how colleagues and clients will view me 30 years from now. I love thinking long term and keeping this big picture in mind to help clarify and motivate me for all the little stuff I do now…..

Happy retirement Mom!!! We’ll have to come up with some creative ways to keep you from being bored here in the next couple of weeks…..

Simple Shenanigans

A WONDERful collision of chaos, calm and craftiness (and maybe a few cats too)…..