Category Archives: Team Brave Dinosaurs

Praise for the system

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First of all, I apologize that my blog posts have been scarce this past month. With volleyball, school, and Scott’s hunting season upon us, life has been so very full and priorities have to be set appropriately!

One exciting adventure of the past two weeks has been the movement towards finalization of adopting our two favorite little Wonders! We signed our official petition to the court (even WonderGIRL got to sign her official signature on the paperwork) and today, we filled out our final paperwork to go forward with a court date. While we are excited, our kiddos are conflicted and that struggle is hard on all of us. So today, I thought I would point out a few things about the state’s support during this transition that I am impressed with and want to publicize, since many of my points about the system on my blog haven’t been the most positive.

When many families decide to adopt a child, adopting out of the foster system is not often the most enticing situation. The gamble of what special needs and trauma-induced behaviors the child can have, the older ages, and the unknown and complicated dynamics of visits and a continued relationship with the biological family are all huge factors that push many away. Not to mention the big “dealbreaker”…..that many feel they cannot take the heartache of the children being returned back to their family or moved to a different home (to which I reply…..but isn’t the heartache of a child that needs a loving home while in transition so much more important).

But after all of that, the state tries to do what it can to make sure that adoptive families and foster children are fully supported after their legal adoption. especially when the children have special needs (which most foster children would be considered with their trauma background). We continue to get coverage for our Wonders’ supervision costs, damage to property costs, and other out-of-pocket expenses that they might accrue. And although we definitely didn’t start this journey or continued it with any costs/financial support in mind as a dealbreaker, it definitely feels comforting knowing their needs will always be met and supplemented by the state that has tried hard to protect them.

Next step?? Courtroom parties, real parties, and two new last names – we can’t wait!

On having a nanny….

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When Scott and I were brainstorming about our Fall craziness and how to lessen the impact on our little wonders’ need for consistently and structure – we had many conflicting feelings about hiring a “nanny.” Would that mean we’re not taking responsibility for our own kiddos? Will she take care of them with as much urgency as needed in their particular situation? And most importantly, would someone be able to handle their behaviors and tantrums and not be scared away???

Our initial interview with our amazing current “WonderNanny” was much more about laying out what could happen under her watch and then seeing if she was up to the challenge. And oh man, we are so grateful she was. She jumped in, attached instantly to WB and WG and has been such a positive light in their lives. Please check out these amazing gifts she sends our way to surprise them.

And then came….

And in the end, every family needs different amounts of support and structure and WonderNanny completely gives us some respite and breaks during a season we need it the most – and for that, we are so grateful she fell into our lap.  We love her so much!

**Many people ask how we found WonderNanny. It went a little something like me browsing care.com and then being shocked at the price of using the site per month. Then stalking nannies I liked and looking them up on FB to see if they might fit. A couple of messages later and voila! No fee, easy communication and a bit of a care.com hack if you will.**

Giveaway time!!!

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These two products have been monumental in some of my personal development and growth towards contentment and peace with the daily chaos of our lives. I would love to share them with my readers as I really appreciate you tagging along on this journey with me and all of the supportive comments and love you have blessed me with throughout this past year. Please see the end of this post for details on how to enter.The Fringe Hours by Jessica Turner (and accompanying journal) will help you transform your thinking from “I don’t have time for that!!!” into “I can use my time more wisely” with amazing insights and challenging questions. It’s my favorite gift to give to all the hard-working mamas in my life and I hope you will appreciate it as well!

Most of you know how much essential oils have transformed our families’ lives in the past year (sorry for all the oil posts and pictures). Not only with giving me the ability to create our own cleaning products, but also to impact our emotional health and well-being. These emotional aromatherapy oils are my favorite to put into rollerballs (as you see here) and to add to our home diffusers for boosts throughout the day. I am excited to give this set away to a lucky reader who could also benefit from using them!

To enter, please follow my new IG account called ROOTEDWELL (click link, then “follow”) for nuggets of knowledge and inspiration on building your own family’s wellness. Then leave a comment either on the blog post or on Facebook suggesting a topic you would like to read about on the blog sometime in the next few months OR what’s been your fave post so far.  Any and ALL suggestions and feedback welcome. This Friday, Aug. 19th, my little Wonders will pick out names and I will send you your goodies ASAP!

Again, thank you for reading throughout this past year….although your feedback is not the primary reason I am keeping up the blog, I do appreciate the support and engagement that it has brought about in our family’s rollercoaster of a journey.

1 year Blog-a-versary….what I’ve learned along the way

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It’s official! I have been blogging, ranting, enabling for about a year now and thought I would document this occasion with a few thoughts about what I’ve learned and enjoyed so far about this little experiment into the public journaling world.

  1. Writing about my experiences and adventures has brought about a great sense of peace and understanding…..there is something very therapeutic about processing one’s own thoughts through writing. Thinking about our struggles and our joys in a “big picture” kind of way when trying to put them into words has helped me gain insight and perspective into our family journey (particularly the struggles with the foster system that have irked me throughout the past year).
  2. As a follow up to #1, my irritability level has significantly decreased because I have something (someone??? all you readers) to share my emotions with and release those stress hormones through the creative expression of writing. I’m sure my husband and wonders definitely appreciate this one throughout our daily life.
  3. Keeping up with posts can be hard at times….I feel like the thoughts in my head are not all that exciting or I struggle with how much to share publicly. But once I realize that those thoughts about what others will think is really just about my own perception and not rooted in the WHY of this blog, I can move forward and more ideas flow into my brain.
  4. I hope that my blog has highlighted some of the joys and the struggle of fostering little ones. There are no two foster situations alike so our journey as Team Brave Dinosaurs is not an example and highlight of what it could/should like…..but I hope this blog (and however I choose to publish it) will be a solid document in years to come for WonderGIRL and WonderBOY. I hope they get to read it later and hear my thoughts, my love, and my passion for them as we grew our family through this process.
  5. One of my favorite lessons learned from this blog is something that I have been very much missing from my scrapbook days….and that is the ability to pay attention to ALL the moments with my family and document them. The big exciting adventures are great and I want to remember those forever…..but the tiny, funny moments and quotes???? Those are the ones that fill my heart with such immeasurable joy and contentment with my life that I can’t wait to look back on and relive….like WB modeling his new vest or meeting my new neice for the first time. All the feels over and over.


Coming later this week – a request for suggestions on what to blog about next AND a giveaway with two of my favorite “game-changer” products that I want to pass along to two of my readers who I appreciate so much!

 

4 years since this epic day….

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and my epic bouquet that still looks exactly like this picture. This was so fun to make (thank you Elke for being my partner in crafty crime on this one) and I love that I still get to hold it just as it was that year for many years to come.FPS029_MG_5091_processed A little bit of fun was had in our photobooth. A lot of fun has happened since our marriage 4 years ago…..adding two lovable little Wonders has been by far the most fun though!FPS108IMG_5495 My favorite seconds of this entire day was all of our loved ones making wishes on these balloons and sending them off into the universe to hopefully come true one day. For those of you that wished for children – hooray your balloon wish was granted. For those of you who wished for babies – sorry not sorry. No diapers and midnight feedings in this house. And for those of you that wished for Scott to stop playing his Marvel video game on his cell phone so much 4 years from this date (oh wait that’s just me)…..maybe we need a few more balloons.FPS514_MG_6692 As this was the happiest day of my life…..this picture below sums up how thrilled I was to have all of my beloved people all under one barn roof. Taryn, you clearly said something I absolutely adored right here. Not a surprise…..FPS547_MG_6796My marriage to Scott has gifted me so many things….a loyal partner who said yes when I needed him too. A cozy house to make memories in. An fire family that I love as if I shared blood with them. Feelings of safety and security that I have rarely felt before.

My marriage has also stretched me and I choose to view that as a gift as well. It has been unbelievably hard at times and in those times, we have learned how to communicate, how to take breaks, and how to unselfishly say sorry and make changes. Each day brings about new opportunities to practice those skills and I welcome them if it makes us stronger in the long run. I have learned to restructure my thinking about so many things to find peace and purpose in the good and the bad.

I will not sugar coat this whole adventure by saying it’s all been rosy…even before the added stress of our kiddos being in the mix, Scott and I struggled in our relationship. And now with our Wonders around us, those small rifts in our foundation get a bit bigger with each rumble they add. We continue to reach out for help and it’s carrying us through the lows. Our love and commitment carry us drag us through the conflicts and always lead to healing. The experience of living with broken beings who have endured trauma is definitely not easy and at times can feel incredibly suffocating, but with the grace of powers much bigger than I, I feel a purpose and a mission to love fiercely through all of it and lean towards the ultimate goal of peace and healing for all of us.

Thank you Scott for choosing me, loving our Wonders and me with a fierceness that can move mountains, and for working on yourself so you can be better for US. That work means more to me than all the letters, cards, and flowers you could ever give to me. I love you today and every day.

Camp Chelanigans

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My heart is full. My skin is burnt. Our kids are tired. Winning all around. Our camping week in photos:Our new tent was amazingly spacious and cozy all at the same time. We shall call it our camping condo from now on….all are welcome. Unlimited sand time is WonderBOYs happy place. Especially with his soulmate Mason by his side.
This little one got a bit homesick after a few days so a little extra down time was needed. Camp nap in the shade.Waterslide day!!!!
Firetime fun included smores, banana boats, playing with fire (supervised by our two firefighter Daddys), and some impromptu dance parties.Board game time at the table is my fave…. Isn’t it a camping miracle when everything fits back into the truck???? Love that feeling of accomplishment after packing up all of our big time fun into those itty bitty bags.

Grieving from the inside out…

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Do these faces look like kids who are grieving????? (especially in that cutie patootie trailer they are posing in?)

Oftentimes, when people get to meet our little wonders, there are comments about how happy they are, well-behaved, polite, lucky to have us, etc. etc. And while those comments are probably true at that specific point in time (WB and WG do their best work in public), there is definitely some grieving going on right now. Evidence – tandem tantrums from the two of them a few nights back in the Target aisles after playing “spy” and hiding from me and then getting lost in the grocery section quickly thereafter – only strangers got to witness that fun adventure. Their grief comes out behind closed doors with us who are now their circle of safety and security. With legal adoption on the horizon (within months!!!), one might guess/assume that the one thing they’ve been begging social workers for since we got them 2 1/2 years ago would be creating some comfort or relief. But in contrast, it has really confused them and they are grieving what I would call “the life that could have/should have” been.

WonderGIRL is still resolving some conflicts around forgiveness and her trauma. Thus, her behavior has been extra defiant and manipulative as of late. We are trying to set boundaries and give appropriate consequences balanced with compassion and then my heart breaks when I hear her ask “Will this make you not want to adopt me?” She messes up and then the guilt from that catapults into so many other conflicting emotions – poor thing.

WonderBOY has always had hard feelings around his birthday and his birth story. The past couple of weeks, bed time has brought about many tears with statements like “I wish I had been born from your tummy” and “I want a re-do of everything that happened to me”. On one day he might be so excited to “be adopted and have a party” and then other days, he truly questions whether or not this is what he wants. We take all of his words and his thoughts at face value and try to provide the reassurance that he needs. Luckily, his self-regulation has gotten to a good point where he can actually talk about his feelings without violence or aggression (thank you counseling!!!!!).

I am writing this post just to reflect and process this point of the journey, not to make any comparisons or seek out sympathy for what we’re going through. Obviously, Scott and I are extremely excited we get to move forward with our family in a legal sense and I hope in some years, we can look back at this point in time and acknowledge how far the kids are going to come with their emotions and behaviors. While grief about their past will not do a disappearing act the day our adoption goes through, we are hopeful that a true “permanent” decision will provide some calm in their hearts and minds.

Camping Prep Party!

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Although I like to complain to others about my hubby working a 48-hour shift right before we leave to camping, I actually kind of like the camping prep stage (and I like doing it on my own with complete control too – don’t tell Scott). Being creative with meals, squeezing a lot of tent equipment into little spaces, and planning out fun activities for the kiddos feels creative and exciting to me. Here are a few hacks I’ve learned along the way to make things easier and less stressful when out in the wild Chelan city park.

THE FOOD –
I love all the camping food hacks and ideas that are out there and am excited to try a few this year. I prepped the Shrimp Boil Packets and think they’re going to taste so good with minimal effort to put them together.
Breakfast burritos are a must for us adults while the kiddos are enjoying their Cheerios and oatmeal – I like to put instant mashed potatoes with sausage, eggs, and cilantro in ours and then I add salsa when it’s done cooking over our morning fire.
Dinty Moore stew is a MUST for this girl – as a tradition from my childhood camping trips, I look forward to this tasty dinner served with cold milk and bread. Unfortunately, we couldn’t find it anywhere on our shopping excursions (4 different stores until this happy scene – I had tricked my littles into thinking that if we didn’t find it, we couldn’t go camping….I may feel minimal guilt about that little story).

THE PACKING –
In order for us to spend a week in a tent, I like to bring along lots of comfy bedding to make it feel like home to all of us. However, this takes up sooooo much room in our truck that we don’t have a lot of room for now that our little wonders are in the back and need space to move/sleep/entertain themselves. This year, I’m trying out vacuum seal bags to decrease the amount of space needed for these items. What you see in the photo below is ALL of our bedding – including pillows, comforters, AND all of our towels for the beach and showers. I am hoping that by the end of the trip we can use our air mattress pump to suck the air out but that could be a gamble so we’ll see what happens!

You know I can’t go anywhere without my oils. Last year, these came in handy for all the little bumps and bruises that come along with playing hard all day in the sun and water and now that I’ve condensed this little first aid kit into a small package, we can pack even more in!OTHER HACKS I’m trying this year –
Shoe Organizer in our Kitchen/Canopy area
Hand Washing Station at our table
Freezing water bottles and other items to keep the cooler going on a long, hot drive to Chelan

Do you have any genius tent camping ideas? I’d love to hear them and log them into my brain for our next trip!!!! Happy August everyone!

A few things I’m loving right now….

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It’s been a busy couple of weeks with our big Oregon Coast adventure and then WSU volleyball camp so no blogging for me. But here are a few things invading my mind and making me happy right now….This picture literally makes me swoon with my love for my little wonders and the great big beach/world around them they get to discover. I am excited to get it printed big like and display it in our house somewhere….any suggestions?
My brain and I have been battling quite a bit this summer….insecurities, judgements, and comparisons are running wild up in there and I am finding this book is helping me rewrite a few stories that need to be revised for the good of myself and my family. I’m only a few chapters in and feel the impact already. Love personal development reads in the summer…..I can read a few pages and let them simmer in my brain and heart for a bit before moving on.
“Oh your team goes to WSU team camp? What a coincidence since you went there and all….” SOOOOOO not a coincidence. I love everything about WSU and Pullman (even the drive) and really get excited about showing my high school girls around. My heart swells as I enter the town, shop for new crimson and grey gear, and walk around the campus (my calves swell too but from all the hills…..small price to pay). Go Cougs (just in case my Husky friends are reading)!
As many coaches do, I love a good quote and passing it along to others. I also love Instagram…..Word Swag is a fun app that takes cool background pictures and swishes your fonts around until you find a combination that you like. It’s great for both short labels and words on photos AND longer quotes or passages.

I love watching the powerful women of the show, Open Concept and am also insanely jealous of how easy it looks to create literally my dream furniture and decor. Following their IG is full of inspiration – definitely worth a follow!

Some other honorable mentions:
– Missy Elliot pandora station (Ludacris, Usher, and Nelly show up a lot – perfect workout/cleaning/driving music)
– High School Musicals on repeat in our house this summer
– planning for some fun essential oils classes with my peeps in August before the craziness of volleyball starts
– how hard my volleyball girls are working in the off-season
– secret plans for a killer warm up playlist for this season

Coming up on the blog this week – my year “blog-a-versary” and what I’ve learned/loved/hated about it so far.

WonderGIRL turns 14 – the party details

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Since WonderGIRL loves ANYTHING red, white and blue (“birthday colors” she calls them) this was the perfect theme for her birthday party we held at our house yesterday. That and everything red, white, and blue was 50% off at Michaels (winning!!!) Here are some details we/she/I loved (also might be perfect for a 4th of July party tomorrow):

THE FOOD –
Had to create the fruit flag (perfect for an 8 year old begging to help project), plus I saw this “firecracker hot dog” video right before my trip to the grocery store for party prepping – good timing!!! My favorite food was the firecracker popcorn and was quite a hit at the party (a good excuse for adults to consume pop rocks and not be judged!!!).

THE SELFIE STATION –
Since WG is loving her phone and especially the camera function, we created this selfie station to capture all of her loved ones with her at the party. They all turned out so cute!!! We’ll have to practice getting the selfie stick OUT of the shot on our next round.

We can always count on Uncle BJ to liven up our photoshoots.

THE DECOR –

Those jars are filled with rice colored with food coloring – again, another project great for “helpful” kiddos during the party prep stage.
I knew I wanted to create a special video of WG popping this amazing confetti-filled ginormous balloon from Spruce (one of my favorite Bellingham shops) and the video happened and was awesome….but I still can’t get it to load on here so check out the instagram post instead.

Also, the outfit (all Target) was a combination of workout leggings, a tutu and the festive tank. She was also treated to a birthday party manicure so even her fingernails match her outfit/party – how cute!!! Thank you to everyone that came and celebrated one of the bravest dinosaurs (teen-o-saur?) in our crazy little bunch – we are so proud of her growth, especially in this last year of life and will love her to pieces forever and ever.