Category Archives: Personal Development

Quotes I live by (Wednesday)

Posted on by

You have to love your kids enough to make them hate you sometimes – my beloved Gramma, Audrey

I feel so blessed to have my Gramma in my life as an adult and now as a relatively new mama to older kiddos. She raised 7 kiddos, maintained a loving and beautiful marriage, and was the best party host I know (red cheeks from wine and everything – just like me!!!).

She actually said this quote to me when I was a young adult (like mid 20’s) when I got to play one of our many games of Scrabble together. I’m sure she was referencing perhaps a story I was working with as a new counselor or even a family outside of our own, but her words play in my brain and heart multiple times as I raise our wonders AND as I coach parents and families through struggles in my role as a school counselor.

Many people think children (especially children out of the foster system) just need love but what they need almost MORE than that love is BOUNDARIES. Someone to help them regulate their brains, their emotions and their bodies in a safe environment. I heard at a counseling conference that parenting always takes two hands – the hand of compassion AND the hand of restraint. Sometimes these boundaries look like a firm “no” but sometimes they look like allowing your child to struggle and to fail, in order for them to learn valuable lessons they will need as they move towards adulthood. And now as I parent myself, I understand why the parents I have worked with as a counselor struggle with this. When their pain is your pain, how can you sit back and watch the pain happen.

And especially now with those professional experiences and now with personal ones, I feel more passionate about the need for this restraint and this allowing of them to “hate you.” These lessons are what they will remember in the long run. You are not just creating happy children NOW – you are inspiring creative problem-solvers for the FUTURE when you allow them to navigate the hardships on their own (with your guiding hand and your loving and safe self to fall back on of course).

Tomorrow’s quote….tensions are rising (hint hint).

Quotes I live by (Tuesday)

Posted on by

Clean your own porch before you start on someone else’s (quote by a very wise GU volleyball camp director)

*This quote’s context was all about players not “coaching” and critiquing teammates’ on the court during play, but as I say often, volleyball is a metaphor for life and nothing could compare more strongly then THIS quote in THIS social/political climate RIGHT NOW.*

This one is pretty self-explanatory but again, I come back to it often when I have strong feelings that pop up either about something I see someone else do or say OR when I start perusing social media and hard, critical thoughts pop into my train of thought. How I combat these thoughts is by swiftly trying to “clean up my own porch” by thinking about my own past, my own actions and identifying what I could do to change/improve.

This self-awareness exercise has helped me in a number of situations (social media during the presidential campaign anyone???) and above all, lessens the strong feelings enough to move on. Not that I am a bold enough person to say many critical things of others that often anyway (unless you’re my volleyball players…..then…..well that’s the only way were gonna get better girls!!!!), but again, I don’t even like having the toxic thoughts and energy that judgement brings so I try to sweep them right out of up there as quickly as I can.

Hump day quote coming up tomorrow…..right from my grandmother’s sweet (and blunt) heart to yours.

Quotes I live by (Monday)

Posted on by

Along this winding road of 34 (almost 35!) years, there have been a few quotes spoken or read that have stuck out to me as not only useful, but rocks of truth that I find myself coming back to time and time again. I thought I would share those thoughts/quotes this week to document them into the permanency of blogland and as usual, potentially pass along the inspiration to someone else that could use it.

Love is a verb – Stephen Covey
Love DOES – Bob GoffAlthough this quote is more of a cluster of little quotes with similar meanings – I love all that it implies. That love is a moving, breathing thing. It changes from season to season and looks different in each and every relationship it shows up in. It’s not just a warm, fuzzy feeling but that true love is in actions. I also remember reading from Bob Goff that as much as love DOES, it also DOESN’T. The importance of saying no and setting boundaries is just as important as what you say yes to. I come back to this so much, especially now with a busier “mama” schedule. We try to limit our activities, especially on weekends to recover and reset for our weeks that add stressors to my Wonders’ hearts/brains and to our relationships.

One other interpretation of this quote is that “love is work.” That work is hard, that work is tiring, and that work will kick your behind from one side of hell to another. And the real, actionable kind of love keeps putting the work in, even when you really really don’t want to (yes kind of true in relationship to marriage/romantic relationship struggles but this quote seems much more applicable to me in raising little humans into what are supposed to be successful, empathetic adults).

Stay tuned this week for more quotes….some of the true foundational pieces of how I live/choose my humble little life.

 

on my “why”….

Posted on by

I’ve had a few people ask me lately about all of the different things I do and how busy/hard-working I must be….so I thought I would share a little bit about my very intentional purposes in CHOOSING (because I don’t like the term “too busy”) what I engage in and the amazing people I get to engage WITH along the way.

As a counselor, I am in love with the concept and reality of each person having a story. Stories that involve relationships, ups and downs, milestones and miseries, and everything in between. And the more I learned about and experienced these stories first hand or through my profession, I became obsessed intrigued by the stigma around all things “hard” in those stories. We, as Americans, have a really hard time talking about our struggles…..as if those struggles = failure. The stigma around mental health in particular is one that I am passionate about. Both in my field of counseling, but also in my newer passion of natural wellness through essential oils – I am driven to break down these walls and invite people to openly share struggles with ALL steps of their journey. We are usually fairly open about physical ailments, but the relational, mental, and emotional struggles have an entire set of different “social norms” that hurt us by keeping them hidden.

Mamas, in particular, have a hard time sharing struggles. It is all too easy to compare ourselves to the perfect Instagram Mamas and Pinterest inspiration and feel like we’re never doing enough. Along with that comes anxiety, depression and insecurities about our everyday lives. But by sharing those struggles with others, it opens up the opportunity to welcome and receive SUPPORT and help for those very struggles. And the ripple effect is that others feel open and honest in sharing their struggles too (the biggest way to combat social stigma is by sharing about your own – easier said than done of course).

So this is why I do what I do….bringing stories out of the dark and into the light, stepping out of my comfort zone to involve myself in others’ struggles to hopefully be helpful (or sometimes just to be available, no action needed), and every once in a while, empowering kids and parents with tools they might need to relieve even just a fraction of a struggle…..victory and miracle achieved.Feel free to follow along on my RootedWELL Instagram page – right now there’s a super cute video of WonderBOY filling up his oils keychain for school (melt my heart). All things family wellness posted there…..

On my side gig…

Posted on by

Although I wasn’t even considering DoTerra as a business when I first started using their amazing essential oils – what has grown from just sharing my excitement with friends and family has grown into a beautiful network of mamas, teachers, entrepreneurs, and generally awesome people that I love spending time with!

I get to leave my house every once in a while, sit around tables and living rooms, enjoy some cocktails and appetizers, meet amazing women working their butts off to keep their families happy and healthy….and then educate and empower them to make over their whole lives with natural wellness products.

The ripple effect of all of this fun networking is that I make enough money to make a big impact on our family’s ability to create awesome memories and enjoy experiences together. My hubby and I decided last year to combine his overtime paychecks and all of my DoTerra earnings in order to save for the Disney cruise we gifted the kiddos with last Christmas. We are so excited for this family trip of a lifetime AND extra excited that we didn’t have to sacrifice household expenses to make it happen (especially with our surprise house buying adventure – that might not have been possible if we hadn’t been saving!).I am super grateful for my mentors, Amy and Jodi, for supporting me throughout this journey and I love love love ALL of my oily tribe that are having great experiences with the oils and having some fun right along with that. Hearing their stories of how the oils are positively impacting so many emotional and physical ailments in their home makes my heart incredibly happy and increases my passion for getting this information out into the world!!!

A few links to how I use essential oils in my home:
OIls for Mama
Oils for Hubby
Oils for Kiddos

I’m always happy to share more about the business side of DoTerra if you’re interested. It doesn’t take any inventory or extra costs to start sharing so many people experiment to see what they can do in a short period of time and then take it from there! (Please excuse a little sales pitch very now and again here and on my FB – I’m too excited to keep it myself!)

My One Little Word for 2017

Posted on by

Throwback to some history on my One Little Word Journey

My one little word for 2017 found me while I listened to this Lively podcast featuring Erin Lochner (very excited to  read her new book, Chasing Slow). They discussed the difference between ALLOWing something into your life (with joy) and TOLERATING something (with disdain). Although I contemplated some other words to focus on this upcoming year, this one kept speaking to my heart time and time again.

I will allow:
– my daughter to dress how she wants to dress, style her hair how she wants to style her hair, and take pictures of what she wants to take pictures of because she is a unique force of a human that I do not want to restrict in any way from developing her true self (I’m putting this first because for some reason, this one might prove to be the hardest for me)
– my son to become a young man even though I so desperately want him to stay little
– my husband to cope with his stuff in ways he needs to cope with his stuff
– my students to express themselves in a variety of ways, not just in my step-by-step directed ways
– myself to connect with friends and girlfriends WITHOUT feeling guilty about missing time with my family
– intentional time to be made for creative pursuits each week
– time each day to reflect on gratitude and express that gratitude to those that gifted me that which I am grateful
– good things to happen to my family without second guessing who is judging from afar
WITH JOY.

I will NOT allow:
– screentime to become more important than eye contact and deep connection with my kids
– my insecurities to block my successes
– others around me to struggle with ailments, both physical and emotional without an effort from me to help (even if it’s an offer to help through the medicinal properties of an open bottle of red wine)
– politics to shade my hope and belief in Americans, America, and our future generations of change-makers

My little family set some goals on New Year’s Eve together. We are using an amazing goal-tracker by Elise Joy (get yours here for FREE) to track our PROGRESS (not perfection) at these goals this year. One week in, and this has already been a great way to keep each other accountable and have some meaningful conversations about reaching our goals, both big and small.Happy New Year to all of my loved friends and family – thank you for checking in on us every now and again. I can’t wait to keep sharing our wins and our struggles this year as we keep chugging away at this little thing called life.