Category Archives: Personal Development

On my 2020 word

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My goal this year is to get one blog post published every 10 days….when I printed last years blog book and it was very thin compared to others, I reignited my passion for documenting our stories, using my creative juices, and journaling more often to capture my thoughts.

Each year, I choose a word to guide my year….last year was value and (when I remembered it), was a good tool for me to assess my choices, my time and energy and people around me and whether they truly did match up with my values.

This year my word is vision – with a new position at work that is still being crafted, some side projects that I’m excited about and my WonderGIRL turning 18 this year….looking at the future, being clear about my goals and wishes, and making tangible steps toward those goals is really important to me.

My other thought in choosing this word is to be very clear and have boundaries around things that might be “blocking” my vision or getting in the way of reaching my goals…..energy draining meetings or people, distraction of social media/Netflix, physical health and energy, just to name a few that pop up right now.

Both Scott and I are loving our Start Today journals, along with my Miracle Morning coloring book and Bob Goff devotional – our days are getting off to a kick ass, take names kind of start in 2020!

Life update….still obsessed with the Enneagram – learning others’ types and diving deeper into what mine says about my motivations and ways of interacting with others is still making me geek out big time. So I apologize in advance, for all the enneagram statements and jokes I will say in your presence in 2020….feel free to let me know your “opting out” at any point this year.

On my new toy

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As some of you know, me and fitness/exercise have somewhat of a complicated history. Because of some history with disordered eating and exercise, I have to be careful with this element of my wellness. What that has looked like in the past couple of years is a complete lack of motivation and any energy around my physical fitness, which has been nagging at me as I strive to be my best self.

While I do keep myself healthy with essential oils and moderation in eating habits, I have only actually sweat from physical activity less than 5 times this entire year (kind of embarrassing to admit as a COACH, but real all the same).

After some research and talking to trusted friends and loved ones that own a Peloton, I decided to save my oil gig paychecks for this beauty to grace our household and help me change this narrative of fitness in my world.

Even though I am posting this in the cloud of New Years’ Resolutions and what not, I am actually 3 weeks in and I am already quite in love and obsessed. The instructors are inspiring, funny, entertaining (makes me forget how hard I’m working). Everyone in my family can use it and enjoy the rides. I also love that I can throw on Netflix and take a scenic ride at the same time, which really appeals to my love of multi-tasking.

The Peloton company and app of course have everything dialed in as far as keeping you accountable and giving people with a competitive edge (me, enneagram 3 in full force here) goals, achievements and personal records to go after.

A lot of people have messaged me and asked how I like it so far and if you have any specific questions, just message me and I’d love to answer them. I really haven’t heard one negative thing about it (besides some not using it enough for whatever reasons….) from people that have had theirs much longer than me.

And of course, I have a referral code for $100 in free accessories if you’re interested in saving a bit of money when ready to jump to the dark side!!!

I am ready to take on some major fitness goals in 2020 (major, as in, break a sweat more than 5 times in a calendar year) with this tool….and will hopefully document that journey here when I can!!!

Team HB 2019 annual review

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This morning, our little crew took a trip to our local coffee shop to reflect together on our year and make big plans for 2020! We called it our annual review business meeting and even snagged the important meeting room to make it official.

For Scott and I, we reflected on this blog post to determine how far we made it on our goals. Turns out, we still have a lot of items still to check off and make more of so we’ll be continuing these efforts into 2020 (and maybe beyond that depending on the goal):

(From blog post)
“Some missing pieces that we’d like to change next year:
– being more intentional with how we’re showing love to our children (love languages, quality time, etc.)
– accept where they’re at
– commit to a trip together without kiddos
– attend a personal development conference together
– more transparency about mental health struggles in hopes that stigma goes down in families around us
– host more things at our house….we love our space and want more people in it with us!!!”

I also downloaded an awesome packet for both wonders from Big Life Journal and had them work on it together. The prompts and questions were easy for them to navigate while still digging deeper than a surface level conversation starter like “how was your year”? Plus it’s 25% off through Thursday the 2nd if you’re interested in doing this activity with your kiddos also!! Once they are finished, I will share some of their thoughts and writing to check back on later this year.

A little coloring action to highlight my 2019 word – VALUE.

My one little word this year was VALUE – although it didn’t resonate with me big time, when I took the time to reflect on the word and compare my daily actions or behaviors it really helped me stick to boundaries and priorities in my life. Read more about my 2019 word HERE. I can confidently say that my values of connection and growth were lived out on the daily in my life both personally and professionally this year – even when that connection or growth felt HARD and HEAVY.

We decided as a team this morning to keep checking in on these goals by having a “business meeting” each month to bring up our goals and reflect on our growth towards them. This is where having older kiddos has been so great for me – teaching goal-setting, growth mindset, and self-care to two kiddos who will NEED those things big time in their adult lives (plus how it helps the hubby and I right along with them).

On our last 90 days

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Sparked by the idea that we should end our years as intentionally and ready for health and wellness as much as we are after January 1st, Rachel Hollis set up this program….I participated last year and this year, Scott joined me.

What does it entail? The daily 5 to thrive:
– wake up early to spend time on yourself
– daily gratitude practice
– half your body weight (ounces) in water
– move your body for 30 minutes
– remove one category of food out of your diet

Since October and November (and then the holidays of course) can be stressful for our family, we thought it would be good to be intentional about this together. We did pretty well in October – I cut out fast food, which for my busy schedule, was VERY hard to do. I was proud of myself for refusing the urge, even when others around me were enjoying their greasy goodness. I started to find my rhythm with water as well and it truly is amazing the impact that hydration has on our body and energy levels!

Scott has been practicing writing down 5 things he is grateful for each day, along with nightly meditations (calm.com to the rescue!) – watching his personal growth makes me so proud and energized to stay accountable to our commitments.

Next up for November – I really want to work on getting more exercise and movement into my daily routine. Both Scott and I are removing alcohol from our diets for the month….which might be hard later this month when our sweet WonderGIRL has a very serious back surgery but we’ll get a chance to practice our other (and healthier) coping strategies for that!!!

The delicious French fries I looked forward to on November 1st did not disappoint.

Any of you participating in this program?? Would love to hear your progress!!!

On the Enneagram

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Many of you know that I love a good personality quiz….I love people’s stories and I love being curious about the “why” behind people’s actions (including my own).

I was introduced to the Enneagram through a workshop I attended a few years back and have been intrigued ever since. The more I learn about this tool, my “number” and the types of those around me, the more I can understand others’ motivations and react in ways that will support them versus trigger them (very important obstacle course to navigate in my home).

What is the enneagram?
The Enneagram comes from the Greek words for nine (ennea) and drawing (gram). Each point represents a basic personality type and a specific pattern of thinking and way of being.

Figuring out my type, Scott’s type and then starting to discover both WonderGIRL and WonderBOY’s types have led to some really thoughtful and intentional discussions about our behavior and how we treat other people, especially in times of stress. We love reading specific instagram posts that help us learn about types and commenting occasionally to the other “That’s so very type 1 of you.” Here is our constellation of types in Team Hoelzle-Brown:

  • Scott
  • WonderGIRL
  • Me! (no one is shocked by this one)
  • WonderBOY

How did we find out our type(s)? There are a lot of different quizzes you can take….or some people read about each type and try to figure out which resonates the most for them. Here is the quiz that I most often give to people to take which also gives short descriptions of each type:
Fast Enneagram Test

This might be a powerful tool for you in any team you work with as well. I know the types of each of my volleyball players and we often discuss how to interact differently with each type on and off the court to lead to a more positive climate. There are a lot of great Instagram profiles to follow that can highlight all sorts of interesting conversations about your type – just search “enneagram” into the user search and voila! research away!!! Some you will find more accurate (sometimes scary accurate) than others, but still good “food for thought” anyway.

I would love to know your type!!! Take the test and post in my comments….also feel free to message me with any questions (I am no expert but can point you in some helpful directions) or for suggestions on Instagram accounts to follow!! Happy “gramming” everyone!

On the life “scrub”

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Fall is always a season of renewal for me….with school and volleyball starting, I always feel the itch to try new things or switch up some patterns I had acquired during my slow summer season.

This year, it took a little longer for that itch to happen with some grief and other stressors but here we are with two months left in the year and I’m feeling motivated to make a few changes toward my better self and a more organized daily world!!

One of my favorite podcasts is publishing a week-long “scrub” of your device, calendar, home, etc. and I’ve been loving the practical ideas she has shared on staying focused and limiting distractions.

This first episode is about “scrubbing” your decide, turning off notifications, organizing your home screen, etc. and I loved taking 30 minutes during my morning routine to really evaluate how I used my phone. She shared a wonderful quote, saying “when you get back to someone right away, that is not showing leadership. That is showing that you are distracted.” This is how I’ve always viewed messages and notifications on my phone and loved the validation and common sense of what it communicates to the sender.

Are you an “eliminate all the red bubbles’ kind of person? Don’t look at my phone – they are everywhere!!! My husband cringes whenever he peeks over.

Even my new office needed a “scrubbing” after my move to a new location this Fall. The piles of papers and files were overwhelming me, so I turned off my phone, shut my door, laid everything out and finally got organized. It’s amazing how good that feels once it is done!!! I feel like I’ve gotten more work done in a faster period of time since getting my physical space and functioning organized!

Is there anything or process in your life that may need a good, clean “scrub”? Leave your idea below and inspire us all!!!

Yay to May!

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There are so many things I love about May. The spring sunshine and new growth. My break between club volleyball and high school seasons. People excited to be coming out of houses and socializing a bit more. Celebrating successes of students and planning for goals and growth for the coming school year.

May is also Mental Health Awareness month…one of the things I love most about my job both as a school counselor and sharing essential oils is reducing stigma around mental health. I believe we all are at different points on the spectrum from illness to wellness and that “point” can change from life season to season or even day to day. I love connecting with teachers, parents and students around their mental health and just by talking about their anxieties, symptoms, etc. we are bringing the darkness into light and finding solutions to these common struggles.

If you’re interested in learning more about mental health, click here for a 31 days of education workshop (watch videos at your own pace)! The first topic is PTSD which is the MAIN struggle in our house on a daily, hourly, minute-by-minute basis….loved the tips shared here. 7-8 out of 100 people struggle with PTSD (spoiler alert: it is NOT just for military personnel, but affects most foster children and first responders in a heavy way).

Next week, the girls and I get to travel to Atlanta, Georgia for this amazing conference. As most of you know, I am passionate about helping WonderGIRL turn her story into a story for good and for justice and action. She (and BraveGIRL) applied to be youth representatives for a local organization and were gifted this trip and this experience. I am so excited to support them throughout this conference and be in community with other activists and sexual violence survivors.

One Little Word 2019

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It took me a whole month to let different words marinate and settle…through some different readings and heart searching, I have landed on the following word to guide my 2019.

A few components of “value” I hope to explore….

I DO what I value – do my activities and schedule reflect my values?

Drilling down – if you have more than 3 priorities, you have no priorities….what 2-3 values mean the most to me? Which values can I operationalize and live out daily?

Showing others their value – I believe so many in my close circle have an incredible amount of value and importance…do I reflect that back to them? How can I value them with my words and actions? How can I let them know their meaning to me?

Right now I am reading Brene Brown’s newest book, Dare to Lead and she asserts that “our values should be so crystallized in our minds, so infallible, so precise and clear and unassailable, that they don’t feel like a choice – they are simply a definition of who we are in our lives. In those hard moments, we know that we are going to pick what’s right, right now, over what is easy.”

My charting to explore my top 2 values from her book:I love that when I landed on growth and connection, all of the other words fit under them for me.

I also struggled with personal and professional values and came to the conclusion after reviewing my list that there was no difference between the two. Whether I’m mom, Coach, counselor or Coordinator, I want growth and connection to lead my actions every choice and step along the way.

On my word for 2019…

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I’m still waiting for the right word to pick me a few weeks in to the new year….and I’m okay with that. These are the ones popping up for me as I think about what I would dream for in 2019 and what could move me and my family forward in healing and love. Last year my word was Spark and it fell a little flat for me in the last 6 months. Although I loved the word and my intention behind it, just some words motivate and stick more than others. I’ll keep you posted on what word I choose and add some detail as the hubbub settles and one becomes clear to my brain and heart.

What’s your word/phrase/intention/mantra this year??? Happy 2019 to all of you – let’s make this a good one peeps!