Category Archives: Marriage

On my life update FAQ’s –

Posted on by

I have been in a functional freeze state about oh-so-many things in my life as of late….this blog being one of them. Blogging and writing has been such a coping strategy for me for so long and I’ve had a block keeping me from doing so…..BUT I want to reclaim things that bring me joy and help me sort through the absolute chaos in my heart and mind as of late. To round up the last 6 or so months since I published this post, I thought I would do a few frequently asked questions that come up often from folks (not that I mind you asking – but it’s hard to answer some hard ones over and over ya know?).

Are you still coaching?
Nope. The pain from the loss of my job at Ferndale is still deep and fresh and I’m not ready for the high school coaching scene again (maybe not ever around here). I love coaching and developing younger players and am definitely open to private trainings and younger club coaching opportunities. I do plan on going into more detail at some point about this on the blog but can’t until some other processes play out so stay tuned.

Why did you leave Ferndale (Schools)?
I love love loved my role as school counselor and counseling leader in Ferndale (especially our counseling team – the absolute BEST in all the land). The tides changed dramatically with new leadership (which is completely normal and I accept that) and I no longer could align my professional values and needs with the agendas playing out there, especially in regards to hiring/firing practices. As a school counselor, there are a LOT of game-time decisions made about very important children and families in our buildings and in 16 years in the profession, I was NEVER anxious about whether or not administration would support me and those decisions until recently. I couldn’t let that affect my mental health but more importantly, I knew I wouldn’t be able to provide the best services I could for students and families with that pressure and anxiety hanging over my program. I do want to say with 100% certainty, there are AMAZING staff members throughout Ferndale School District – I miss so many of them, especially watching their brilliance and care for little ones play out each and every day in buildings throughout this community I care very much about.

What are you doing these days for work?
I am in my self-employed, entrepreneur ERA! As some of you know, I have dreamed of owning a business focused on supporting children and families with trauma for multiple years. It was close to fruition in 2020 before Covid and some other life events happened that created necessity to stay in my role at Ferndale.

Rooted WELL is the name of my wee little company – I help educators and families create safe spaces for children with needs that are not well supported in the existing public school system. This can include professional development and trainings, but I also have individual clients I get to see on a regular basis to support the work as well. This Spring, I was afforded the amazing opportunity to be an adjunct professor for the school counseling graduate program at WWU which re-ignited my passion for supporting new school counselors with resources, training, and burn-out prevention support.

Coming soon – presenting at a national virtual conference, a new website, online course for new school counselors, and whatever else my busy busy brain dreams up! Yes, I also still make money from tik tok and even help a few other clients do the same so that’s a fun little side gig along the way.

Are you and Scott staying together?
No. We are talking and co-parenting and are making it work for the sake of our kiddos, but our romantic relationship has come to an end. It is my hope (and I know his too) that we can forge a new relationship moving forward with foundations of respect, trust and genuine care for each other but some individual healing, forgiveness and growth needs to happen first.

We still hang out, go to events together, and can be around each other – so if you see us out, it’s not weird but it’s also not a date (so come talk to us but don’t be awkward). I think that covers all the bases of what folks might want/need to know. There is a lot of information out in public about us but also a lot behind the scenes very much impacting my decisions so thank you to those of you reaching out and supporting us BOTH through this tough time.

How are the kids?
The Wonders have unique backgrounds that make a family rupture like the one we are experiencing difficult. We are supporting both of them and overall, they are handling it with respect, open communication and an an amazing amount of grace. It has highlighted those things that I love about both of them (and hopefully those are seeds we have been planting and tending to in the 10 years we’ve been honored to parent them).

Do you plan on moving?
I think so? The small town of Ferndale is one of the loves of my life and a piece of my identity I value dearly. However, because of the coaching/professional stuff that went down and the betrayal trauma occurring nearby as well, it’s been a bit of an emotional minefield to live and interact with folks here. WonderBOY wants to finish his HS career here so one of us will have to stay but I would say it is very likely I will not be a Ferndale-for-life kinda gal like I originally envisioned for myself.

How are you handling all of this?
I have THE BEST network of people around me to help me handle things. So some days are good and I am smiling and other days, I’m frozen in bed watching seasons upon seasons of my emotional support shows (what are they you ask? Gilmore Girls, Grey’s Anatomy, Sex and the City, Hart of Dixie and The Challenge). Throughout the past 9 months there have been times that my mind is strong and stable, yet my body has not been. And at other times, it’s the exact opposite which has been difficult for a number of reasons with multiple triggers of some past hurts and struggles.

What can I do to help?
Feel free to refer to this blog post I wrote about this very topic. This summer, I am very much grieving some “typical” summer trips I have done in the past…i would love walks and invites to enjoy the summer sun in the PNW with you. AND some days, I have to say no and take care of myself alone in my depression nest and I so appreciate all my peeps understanding that!

Thank you for reading all of this. I am a pretty open book so catch me in person or give me a call if you’d like to connect!!! And a cute little photo reward for all this reading –>

A core group of my support network the past 9 months. I would NOT have gotten through some very dark days and nights without these fine folks (and a handful of others not pictured here).

Swiftie Soundtrack (June edition)

Posted on by

Each month since re-discovering some of Taylor’s newer work, there seems to be one song that rises to the surface as extra meaningful or is played on repeat from my Spotify. I thought I would document those songs here to reflect on at a later date.

LOML
Who’s gonna stop us from waltzing
Back into rekindled flames?
If we know the steps anyway
We embroidered the memories
Of the time I was away
Stitching, “We were just kids, babe”
I said, “I don’t mind, it takes time”
I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed
I felt aglow like this
Never before and never since

If you know it in one glimpse, it’s legendary
You and I go from one kiss to gettin married
Still alive, killing time at the cemetery
Never quite buried
In your suit and tie, in the nick of time
You lowdown boy, you stand up guy
Holy Ghost, you told me I’m
The love of your life

You said I’m the love of your life
About a million times

Who’s gonna tell me the truth
When you blew in with the winds of fate
And told me I reformed you
When your impressionist paintings of Heaven
Turned out to be fakes
Well, you took me to hell, too
And all at once, the ink bleeds
A con man sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme
But I felt a hole like this
Never before, and ever since

If you know it in one glimpse
It’s legendary
What we thought was for all time
Was momentary
Still alive, killing time at the cemetery
Never quite buried
You cinephile in black and white
All those plot twists and dynamite
Mr. Steal Your Girl, then make her cry
You said I’m the love of your life

You talked me under the table
Talking rings and talking cradles
I wish I could un-recall
How we almost had it all
Dancing phantoms on the terrace
Are they second-hand embarrassed
That I can’t get out of bed?
Cause something counterfeit’s dead
It was legendary
It was momentary
It was unnecessary
Should’ve let it stay buried

Oh, what a valiant roar
What a bland goodbye
The coward claimed he was a lion
I’m combing through the braids of lies
“I’ll never leave” …
“Never mind”
Our field of dreams, engulfed in fire
Your arson’s match your somber eyes
And I’ll still see it until I die
You’re the loss of my life

{“eId”:”509996932878710″,”CameraPosition”:2}

Previous monthly songs:
July – Long Live
August – Cruel Summer
September – It’s Time to Go
October – Illicit Affairs
November – Should’ve Said No
December – You’re Losing Me
January – Happiness
February – White Horse
March – Death by a Thousand Cuts
April – Better Man
May – Marjorie and So Long, London

Swiftie Soundtrack (May edition)

Posted on by

Each month since re-discovering some of Taylor’s newer work, there seems to be one song that rises to the surface as extra meaningful or is played on repeat from my Spotify. I thought I would document those songs here to reflect on at a later date. This month, we shall list two songs which makes sense based on how many hours I have spent listening to the newest (double) album.

Marjorie
Never be so kind, you forget to be clever
Never be so clever, you forget to be kind

And if I didn’t know better
I’d think you were talking to me now
If I didn’t know better
I’d think you were still around
What died didn’t stay dead
What died didn’t stay dead
You’re alive, you’re alive in my head
What died didn’t stay dead
What died didn’t stay dead
You’re alive, so alive

Never be so polite, you forget your power
Never wield such power, you forget to be polite

And if I didn’t know better
I’d think you were listening to me now
If I didn’t know better
I’d think you were still around
What died didn’t stay dead
What died didn’t stay dead
You’re alive, you’re alive in my head
What died didn’t stay dead
What died didn’t stay dead
You’re alive, so alive

The autumn chill that wakes me up
You loved the amber skies so much
Long limbs and frozen swims
You’d always go past where our feet could touch
And I complained the whole way there
The car ride back and up the stairs
I should’ve asked you questions
I should’ve asked you how to be
Asked you to write it down for me
Should’ve kept every grocery store receipt
‘Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me
Watched as you signed your name Marjorie
All your closets of backlogged dreams
And how you left them all to me

What died didn’t stay dead
What died didn’t stay dead
You’re alive, you’re alive in my head
What died didn’t stay dead
What died didn’t stay dead
You’re alive, so alive
And if I didn’t know better
I’d think you were singing to me now
If I didn’t know better
I’d think you were still around
I know better
But I still feel you all around
I know better
But you’re still around

So Long, London
I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist
I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift
Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away
My spine split from carrying us up the hill
Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill
I stopped trying to make him laugh
Stopped trying to drill the safe
Thinkin, how much sad did you think I had
Did you think I had in me?
Oh, the tragedy …

So long, London
You’ll find someone …

I didn’t opt in to be your odd man out
I founded the club she’s heard great things about
I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath
I stopped CPR, after all it’s no use
The spirit was gone, we would never come to
And I’m pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free

For so long, London
Stitches undone
Two graves, one gun
I’ll find someone …

And you say I abandoned the ship
But I was going down with it
My white knuckle dying grip
Holding tight to your quiet resentment and
My friends said it isn’t right to be scared
Every day of a love affair
Every breath feels like rarest air
When you’re not sure if he wants to be there
So how much sad did you think I had,
Did you think I had in me?
How much tragedy?
Just how low did you think I’d go?
Before I’d self-implode
Before I’d have to go be free

You swore that you loved me but where were the clues?
I died on the altar waiting for the proof
You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days
And I’m just getting color back into my face
I’m just mad as hell cause I loved this place

For so long, London
Had a good run
A moment of warm sun
But I’m not the one
So long, London
Stitches undone
Two graves, one gun
You’ll find someone …

Screenshot

Previous monthly songs:
July – Long Live
August – Cruel Summer
September – It’s Time to Go
October – Illicit Affairs
November – Should’ve Said No
December – You’re Losing Me
January – Happiness
February – White Horse
March – Death by a Thousand Cuts
April – Better Man

Swiftie Soundtrack (April edition)

Posted on by

Each month since re-discovering some of Taylor’s newer work, there seems to be one song that rises to the surface as extra meaningful or is played on repeat from my Spotify. I thought I would document those songs here to reflect on at a later date.

Better Man
I know I’m probably better off on my own
Than lovin’ a man who didn’t know
What he had when he had it
And I see the permanent damage you did to me
Never again, I just wish I could forget when it was magic

I wish it wasn’t 4 a.m., standing in the mirror
Saying to myself, you know you had to do it
I know the bravest thing I ever did was run

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I can feel you again
But I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man
But I know why we had to say goodbye like the back of my hand
But I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man
A better man

I know I’m probably better off all alone
Than needing a man who could change his mind at any given minute
And it was always on your terms
I waited on every careless word
Hoping they might turn sweet again
Like it was in the beginning

But your jealousy, oh, I can hear it now
Talking down to me like I’ll always be around
Push my love away like it was some kind of loaded gun
Oh, you never thought I’d run

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I can feel you again
But I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man
But I know why we had to say goodbye like the back of my hand
But I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man
A better man

I hold onto this pride because, these days, it’s all I have
And I gave to you my best, and we both know you can’t say that

I wish you were a better man
I wonder what we would’ve become
If you were a better man
We might still be in love
If you were a better man
You would’ve been the one
If you were a better man
Yeah, yeah

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I can feel you again
But I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man
But I know why we had to say goodbye like the back of my hand
But I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man
A better man

We might still be in love, if you were a better man
(But I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man) yeah, yeah

I know why we had to say goodbye like the back of my hand
But I just miss you and I just wish you were a better man
A better man

We might still be in love, if you were a better man
You would’ve been the one
If you were a better man

Previous monthly songs:
July – Long Live
August – Cruel Summer
September – It’s Time to Go
October – Illicit Affairs
November – Should’ve Said No
December – You’re Losing Me
January – Happiness
February – White Horse
March – Death by a Thousand Cuts

Swiftie Soundtrack (February’s version)

Posted on by

Each month since re-discovering some of Taylor’s newer work, there seems to be one song that rises to the surface as extra meaningful or is played on repeat from my Spotify. I thought I would document those songs here to reflect on at a later date.

White Horse
Say you’re sorry, that face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
‘Cause I honestly believed in you
Holdin’ on, the days drag on
Stupid girl, I should’ve known, I should’ve known

That I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairy tale
I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain’t Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it’s too late for you and your white horse
To come around

Maybe I was naive, got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
My mistake, I didn’t know to be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
I had so many dreams about you and me
Happy endings, now I know

I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairy tale
I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain’t Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it’s too late for you and your white horse
To come around

And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I’m so sorry

‘Cause I’m not your princess, this ain’t a fairytale
I’m gonna find someone someday
Who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rear-view mirror disappearing now
And it’s too late for you and your white horse
Now it’s too late for you and your white horse
To catch me now

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Try and catch me now, oh
It’s too late
To catch me now

No white horse was available for a photo opp this month so this cute foster puppy will have to do.

Previous monthly songs:
July – Long Live
August – Cruel Summer
September – It’s Time to Go
October – Illicit Affairs
November – Should’ve Said No
December – You’re Losing Me
January – Happiness

Swiftie Soundtrack (January’s version)

Posted on by

If you are in my life, you have heard or seen me be converted into a proud elder millienial Swiftie after my childhood friends and I attended her concert in July. I do not apologize for this new obsession because it has brought me a large amount of joy….something that I have needed to fill up my bucket throughout the past few months even more than usual.

Each month since re-discovering some of her newer work, there seems to be one song that rises to the surface as extra meaningful or is played on repeat from my Spotify. I thought I would document those songs here to reflect on at a later date.

January’s song: HAPPINESS
Honey, when I’m above the trees
I see this for what it is
But now I’m right down in it
All the years I’ve given
Is just shit we’re dividing up
Showed you all of my hiding spots
I was dancing when the music stopped
And in the disbelief
I can’t face reinvention
I haven’t met the new me yet

There’ll be happiness after you
But there was happiness because of you
Both of these things can be true
There is happiness
Past the blood and bruise
Past the curses and cries
Beyond the terror in the nightfall
Haunted by the look in my eyes
That would’ve loved you for a lifetime
Leave it all behind
And there is happiness

Tell me, when did your winning smile
Begin to look like a smirk?
When did all our lessons start to look like weapons pointed at my deepest hurt?
I hope she’ll be a beautiful fool
Who takes my spot next to you
No, I didn’t mean that
Sorry, I can’t see facts through all of my fury
You haven’t met the new me yet

There’ll be happiness after me
But there was happiness because of me
Both of these things I believe
There is happiness
In our history
Across our great divide
There is a glorious sunrise
Dappled with the flickers of light
From the dress I wore at midnight
Leave it all behind
And there is happiness

I can’t make it go away by making you a villain
I guess it’s the price I pay for seven years in heaven
And I pulled your body into mine every goddamn night now I get fake niceties
No one teaches you what to do
When a good man hurts you
And you know you hurt him too

Honey, when I’m above the trees
I see it for what it is
But now my eyes leak acid rain
On the pillow where you used to lay your head
After giving you the best I had
Tell me what to give after that
All you want from me now
Is the green light of forgiveness
You haven’t met the new me yet
And I think she’ll give you that

There’ll be happiness after you
But there was happiness because of you too
Both of these things can be true
There is happiness
In our history
Across our great divide
There is a glorious sunrise
Dappled with the flickers of light
From the dress I wore at midnight
Leave it all behind
Oh, leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
And there is happiness

Previous monthly songs:
July – Long Live
August – Cruel Summer
September – It’s Time to Go
October – Illicit Affairs
November – Should’ve Said No
December – You’re Losing Me

On asking for help

Posted on by

I just recently listened to this podcast episode (highly recommend), highlighting sister Amanda’s experience with stepping into others’ times of needs and how it has shifted her perspective on asking for help. This naturally had me reflecting on my own recent time of need and how difficult it’s been for me to ask for help, but that when I have, the depth and widening of my support system has become crystal clear and has gotten me through multiple dark days.

The three amazing ladies in this episode remark on the act of HELPING and how sacred it feels to be asked to help. I can reflect on those times in my life that I have been asked to step into others’ time of crisis or need as truly some of the most impactful moments I have been a part of. These times include me walking alongside a player of mine with cancer treatments and into her passing, my work with our county mobile response team helping navigate crisis after crisis in our schools and a handful of other personal cases that are not mine to share publicly here. This also lead to me reflecting on how when I don’t ask for help, I am actually denying others’ the chance to feel this impact and value in my life in a similar fashion.

ambigous loss garden metaphor

And because I have just walked a year long process of navigating depression and a number of ambiguous losses (“a person’s profound sense of loss and sadness that is not associated with a death of a loved one”), here are some ideas on what could/do help me so that you can encourage yourself to step into that gap for others. We all know that when when we tell someone else, “please let me know what I can do to help”, this RARELY leads to concrete answers (my own self included here) but in hindsight, I happen to have a number of concrete answers so better late than never right?

Offers of LOVE (aka “help”) to someone going through a private or ambiguous loss:
– clean their house (hiring someone or coming to do it yourself)
– meal offerings (if you’re in my circle, family style Woodstock salad from Guud bowls please and thank you)
– invites so that I have items on my calendar to look forward to and reminders that I am not alone
– walks to get them outside and moving (with no expectation that they have to shower or look presentable), bonus points for night walks in the dark so no one can see the crying
– massages or self care (even though this is obvious, I am starting to see the impact of how incredible this experience has been in DISCONNECTING my mind from my body and these kinds of self-care experiences help to soothe that very thing and bring them back together)
– texts or phone calls (even when there is no response): No, it will not make them feel worse. Yes, they definitely read each and every one
– recommendations of impactful books if they are a reader/researcher (bonus points to just send it to their house without asking)
– asking specific questions about counseling and medication support (someone remembering that I have counseling on a certain day and reaching out on that day has been so special and meaningful)
– without permission, making plans to come over and spend time with them (again, with no expectation that they have to shower or look presentable)

And to my circle, thank you for doing these things so I have a list to even put out in the world in the first place. Thank you for stepping into my darkness and being the light. I hope to offer it back to you as we adventure along this painful adulting journey side by side, year after year.

P.S. A few books to consider if you find yourself or another in need of some reading, acceptance, exploration into the journey of healing:

On my 2023 – a year in review

Posted on by

I’ve been hesitant to write this post for a number of reasons but also am motivated to write this post for a number of different reasons. Some of my blog posts have become markers in time where I can read and experience the emotions that have faded over time – the lessons learned and meaning made from those moments are so important for both growth and gratitude moving forward.

My current goal when synthesizing all that I have endured this year is ACCEPTANCE – in particular, “to use my pain as a source of information about what matters most to me, and then to act on it” (from ACT “core processes” by Dr. Steven Hayes). One step in that acceptance for me is reviewing the timeline of this year to see both the JOYS and the absolute SORROW that made up my 2023. I am sure more processing will come for some of these events but for now I will just simply list and add a few snippets/photos as I see fit. Here we go….

January
– Taking WonderBOY to his first Seahawks game
– A week into this year, I was informed that I (as coach) was being investigated for bullying due to parent complaints by my school district
– Bestie’s 40th birthday celebration in Chelan
– Traveled 1-on-1 with WB to Stanford to see my bestie and catch a basketball game

February
– Participated in my investigation interview with third party
– Traveled to Vegas for Pooh’s birthday
– School Counseling conference with so many lovely people I adore

March
– Facilitated a school-wide response for community tragedy in area
– Unexpected death of a dear friend from graduate school
– WonderGIRL got married (my experience of this was complicated at best)
– Contract not renewed for coaching due to “results of the third party report” (see June events) and “going in a different direction”
(ALL 4 of these events happened within 10 days of each other – enter depression/anxiety like I’ve never experienced before)

April
– News article becomes public with commentary flowing freely on the internet
– Shania Twain concert with brother and sis-in-law

May
– Travel to Mexico for my cousin’s beautiful wedding and time with family

June
– First time in 18 years NOT coaching Spring/Summer volleyball
– Year 16 of school counseling comes to a close working alongside an amazing staff and T
– Fire family and in-law camping trips
– Received written reports from third party investigation deeming allegations NOT SUBSTANTIATED (3 months after being fired for said reports)

July
– Took WonderGIRL to Vegas for her 21st birthday
– Another bestie turns 40 and celebrates in Whatcom County
– Death and funeral of an integral teacher and friend in my life
– Attended The Eras Tour and became a converted elder millenial Swiftie for life

August
– Made the incredibly difficult decision to resign from school counseling position to protect my own mental health and stay true to my values
– Once again, grieving the absence of volleyball starting
– My father ends up hospitalized for diabetes-related symptoms for one week with extra care needed beyond hospital visit
– WonderBOY and Scott travel to Alaska for a family fishing expedition
– 11 year wedding anniversary

September
– Establish RootedWELL Coaching, my new LLC business adventure

October
– WB and Scott travel to Wyoming, WB experiences his first kill
– Solo camping adventure for my birthday
– Discovery of my husband’s current/recent infidelity (very end of month)

November/December
– Grieve my marriage, survive my symptoms, rely on my support system
– Start counseling (both individual and marriage) and medication knowing I cannot cope with this particular struggle by myself
– Navigate the holidays (and Apple Cup and birthdays) amidst pain and questioning

In these two months, I have cried and felt more than all the times in my entire life put together. If you know me, you know it is very difficult for me to cry and be vulnerable with my emotions (Enneagram 3 problems). This has opened up a number of experiences for me, including true understanding of what it feels like to walk through attachment trauma AND to fully let others in to help support me through this time. And although I am experienced heightened emotions NOW, the loss of so many pieces of my identity in BLINDSIDING fashion this year is really the true source of my pain long-term and my greatest need to rebuild in the new year.

The glimmer of it all – I have seen and been encouraged by the strength of my Wonders as they also navigate this attachment rupture – their mature words, their empathy and care for me, and their focus on their own coping skills reinforces what seeds I so desperately wanted to plant for them in their hearts and minds. It’s been a bittersweet time for me to see those seeds grow and shine in support of me and our family as we walk through this struggle together.

Some folks might be wondering why I’m including some of these details in my very public blog and here is my response – I’ve always felt aligned with my integrity when I share both the ups and the downs of my life. This is no different. I will be sharing MY experience (with consent from my husband)….and just like others have shared theirs with me, it helps to navigate alongside others who have experienced similar things. Compassion after all means “to suffer together” – my hope is that by me sharing, it can help me make meaning of the events from this past year but also might help someone else in the process of reading by being exposed to new ideas/concepts in their journies. That is and will always be my hope for this blog.

32/40 – on Scott’s moment

Posted on by

Because I am an enthusiastic slacker, I didn’t make it to 40 moments BEFORE I turned 40. So I outsourced to a few peeps so they could tell me their fave moments I might have forgotten.

Up first is my sweet husband…for my birthday, I asked for two things. A birthday dinner with all 3 kiddos in one spot and that took some serious wrangling but he did it (with 304 messages and reminders) and I am so very thankful.

We didn’t mean to stand tallest to shortest but here we are.

And for the second request, of course, I asked him to write up his favorite moment with me. Here is what he had to say:

I have had the incredible fortune of spending the last 12 years with my incredible wife patti. We have had our ups and downs as does all couples. I’m beyond thankful to call her my wife through all the highs and lows. Although there has been tough times there have by far been more wonderful times. Too many to count actually. Some things that stand out to me actually come at the beginning of our relationship and pretty recently actually.

One of our first dates was where we took the ferry out to Friday harbor. It was an amazing day filled with good food, beautiful views (Nature and Patti), and the start of someone falling in love with the other. Another important time to me that i am cherishing is our 10 year anniversary to whistler a couple months ago in august (see more of this here). It was a time filled with good food as usual, but more importantly a time to reconnect and remember why we love each other. I am continually thinking of this trip to whistler we just took and how i love spending time with Patti.

Not our first date but another photo on the ferry deck to Friday Harbor!

Happy 40th dear! I love you and you’re just as hot as you were on our first date!

On our Whistler weekend

Posted on by

Traveling to Canada has been tricky the past couple of years, but it’s not anymore and if you haven’t been to Whistler…it is such a fun destination in the summer! With so many restaurants and activities to choose from, I thought I would highlight a few in case you find your way up north and want some recommendations!

Where to stay – there are a LOT of hotels and rental options right in Whistler Village and I recommend choosing something in the village so you’re super close to the all of the action! 9 years ago, we stayed at the Aava hotel and loved that option as well. This time around, we went the AirB&B route and LOVED our condo. To save some money, these have full kitchens so shopping and cooking on your own would be great for a family getaway. Our host was amazing and responsive and the place was so cutely decorated and had everything we needed (with it raining so much, we did spend more time than I thought we would in the condo). Ours had a cute pool and hot tub as well which was perfect to come home to each night after a lot of walking (and eating/drinking).

Must-do activity – riding the gondola up Whistler or Blackcomb is a must must activity and is breathtakingly beautiful. It does cost a good chunk of money, but you can spend the whole day/night up there to get your money’s worth. Once you’re up top, there are many sites to see, trails to hike/explore and restaurants to eat at! On top of Whistler in particular, there is the Umbrella bar with a 360 degree view and a great buffet dinner on Friday-Sunday. Watching the mountain bikers head down is also part of the fun!

Where to eat – ummmm…..EVERYWHERE! Seriously there are so many amazing places to eat and since the weather wasn’t great, I’m pretty sure we hit more stops than we originally planned. Here were some of my favorites:

1. Purebread – Okay you know I love my carbs but being in line each morning at 8am when this place opens and the wave of aroma hits you was MAGICAL. There is everything here from sweet to savory and I recommend ordering your own sampler platter and try bits of what you want (and then snag a box of goodies for the ride home as well on your way out).

2. La Cantina Taco Bar – Just good tacos. And guac. And vibes.

3. Dubb Linn Gate Irish Pub – This was the one place we actually remembered from our previous trip 9 years ago and wanted to return. And it did not disappoint….delicious Irish comfort food (the shephard’s pie…..wow) and all the different beers and whiskeys you could imagine.

4. Cow’s Ice Cream – This came recommended to us and I hadn’t heard of it before but the line was always out the door and it was a great treat to snag and walk around the village with.

5. Raven’s Room – This bar was tucked inside a hotel and was hard to find but the drinks were amazing as well as the decor. We didn’t end up eating here but watched others’ food come out and it looked amazing!

Honorable mentions: Earl’s, Hunter Gather, Sachi Sushi (must order the shrimp gyoza made in house), Araxia (super pricey, not worth it IMO but good), Stonesedge (yummy eggs Benedict), The Green Mustache