If you are in my life, you have heard or seen me be converted into a proud elder millienial Swiftie after my childhood friends and I attended her concert in July. I do not apologize for this new obsession because it has brought me a large amount of joy….something that I have needed to fill up my bucket throughout the past few months even more than usual.

Each month since re-discovering some of her newer work, there seems to be one song that rises to the surface as extra meaningful or is played on repeat from my Spotify. I thought I would document those songs here to reflect on at a later date.

January’s song: HAPPINESS
Honey, when I’m above the trees
I see this for what it is
But now I’m right down in it
All the years I’ve given
Is just shit we’re dividing up
Showed you all of my hiding spots
I was dancing when the music stopped
And in the disbelief
I can’t face reinvention
I haven’t met the new me yet

There’ll be happiness after you
But there was happiness because of you
Both of these things can be true
There is happiness
Past the blood and bruise
Past the curses and cries
Beyond the terror in the nightfall
Haunted by the look in my eyes
That would’ve loved you for a lifetime
Leave it all behind
And there is happiness

Tell me, when did your winning smile
Begin to look like a smirk?
When did all our lessons start to look like weapons pointed at my deepest hurt?
I hope she’ll be a beautiful fool
Who takes my spot next to you
No, I didn’t mean that
Sorry, I can’t see facts through all of my fury
You haven’t met the new me yet

There’ll be happiness after me
But there was happiness because of me
Both of these things I believe
There is happiness
In our history
Across our great divide
There is a glorious sunrise
Dappled with the flickers of light
From the dress I wore at midnight
Leave it all behind
And there is happiness

I can’t make it go away by making you a villain
I guess it’s the price I pay for seven years in heaven
And I pulled your body into mine every goddamn night now I get fake niceties
No one teaches you what to do
When a good man hurts you
And you know you hurt him too

Honey, when I’m above the trees
I see it for what it is
But now my eyes leak acid rain
On the pillow where you used to lay your head
After giving you the best I had
Tell me what to give after that
All you want from me now
Is the green light of forgiveness
You haven’t met the new me yet
And I think she’ll give you that

There’ll be happiness after you
But there was happiness because of you too
Both of these things can be true
There is happiness
In our history
Across our great divide
There is a glorious sunrise
Dappled with the flickers of light
From the dress I wore at midnight
Leave it all behind
Oh, leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
And there is happiness

Previous monthly songs:
July – Long Live
August – Cruel Summer
September – It’s Time to Go
October – Illicit Affairs
November – Should’ve Said No
December – You’re Losing Me