On WG’s adulting adventures

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There has been a LOT of emotions surrounding WonderGIRL’s 18th birthday….not just recently because of the sudden loss of her first mother a month ago….but we have been talking about this transition for the past YEAR in therapy. Since WG doesn’t have many peers in the same life season or with the same life history as she does, her frame of reference for what being “an 18 year old” actually looks like is largely based on fantasy, movie/tv show reality, and a history of irresponsible people in her life who were supposed to be the “adults.”

We knew we had to be careful with how we talked about this transition and how we approached her emotions with it….but also how we scaffold what it does actually mean to be an adult and start assuming responsibility for parts of her life she can have some agency over.

We made a list of some “adulting adventures” to try out the week of her birthday (and had some great suggestions from FB so thank you circle of influence)….each day she resisted and tried to negotiate out of each one, but afterwards, I could see the pride in her heart and eyes with what she accomplished all on her own.

Adventure #1 – learning to navigate public transit using bus schedules and our iPhone. Also, returning product to a retail store.
Adventure #2 – PAPERWORK. WG applied for further disability support by going through her (very thick) medical and IEP files to find appropriate documents, then scanned and emailed to our social worker. She also called Children’s Hospital to check on the status of her survey and applied for a state ID card through the DMV. She thought this task was by far the most exhausting. All mamas agree!!
Adventure #3 – these two volunteered at the Food Bank in the morning and rode the bus home without an adult. Then we took the rest of the day to enjoy ourselves, pamper our bodies and treat ourselves to a fun night in a nearby hotel room. Self-care is something I have been very intentional in showcasing to her through easy and hard times in our family.
Adventure #4 – grocery shopping on a budget. WG was given $50 to buy breakfast/lunch supplies for a week as well as plan and cook a family meal for 4. Our taco feast this night was delicious and she did amazing at calculating how much she was spending each step of the way.
Adventure #5 – Mrs. Fix It! This was a suggestion from Facebook and honestly I needed the tutorial as well. Learning what each tool is for followed by the task of fixing a broken board in her bed. She surprised both parents with how quickly she picked this up!

And to reward our sweet girl, her actual birthday consisted of NO responsibilities….just a day at home (her request) with close family and friends stopping by throughout the day to show their love. Thank you to those of you that took time out of our family holiday to spread the love to our little lady!!!

I will probably share more of her journey a bit later on the blog but both Scott and I have been commenting on a feeling of “turning a corner” in our journey with WonderGIRL. We are hopeful that growth is sprouting in big ways right now and that the harvest of strength and maturity to take on her own life is coming. Prayers and good vibes toward this are GREATLY appreciated.