And other tales of how I ruin their lives teach them lessons of patience and delayed gratification.As a parent, but mostly an educator, I can tell you the discomfort when a child has to wait for something or when they are disappointed has most definitely been exaggerated and more problematic in the last 5-10 years. As technology advances (and other such human interactions have changed), our children are growing up in a land and at a pace that keeps up with their every demand. They ask (Alexa) and they shall receive (ie, they tap their magic screen and something happens, every single time).

But, the downfall of practicing this delayed gratification can have extreme negative outcomes later in life. Most good things in adult land come…….

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after you wait (see what I did there???). And in the discomfort of waiting is when quitting, self-medicating, passiveness and the loss of creative solutions happens. I believe that practicing “waiting” is one of the most intentional things we can gift and model to our kiddos.

A few ways we try to do this:
Making our kiddos listen to the radio (and yes the commercials).
It seems so simple, but can be really effective – the “going with the flow” of what song comes on, listening to the commercials which can give us new ideas on what to do this weekend (if a local station), and sitting in the okay of not liking a song for 3:42 seconds is also good practice

Not giving an answer right away.
One common best practice in the adoption world is to try and say yes to your childrens’ requests when appropriate (for time, for snacks, etc.). We try to do this when we can but we also usually know whether the answer is a yes or a no immediately after the question….so occasionally we say “It’s a no right now but you can ask again later” or “I will think about it and get back to you” to have them practice patience. This also helps them prepare for an answer they might not potentially like (especially effective for teen girls trying to see their boyfriends every day).

Rewarding effort/attitude, not outcomes.
Screen time/video game time is gifted in our house by minutes and is rewarded based not on the finished expectation (because they don’t have a choice to do homework, brush teeth, pick up room), but on their response to the request. If we hear an okay, they do the task, or even if they ask for a compromise, the time is rewarded. If there is complaining, disrespectful body language, or whining, minutes are taken away until the response becomes respectful. We don’t want our children to be mindful robots, complying to every adult request (which actually has been quite damaging to our wonders in their first family), but we do want them to practice having a respectful response to an adult and feel calm enough to ask for a compromise or disagree if need be.

How do you practice this concept with your kiddos? Or how do you teach and model this concept within your classroom? I would love more ideas…..it takes a village!!!