and my epic bouquet that still looks exactly like this picture. This was so fun to make (thank you Elke for being my partner in crafty crime on this one) and I love that I still get to hold it just as it was that year for many years to come. A little bit of fun was had in our photobooth. A lot of fun has happened since our marriage 4 years ago…..adding two lovable little Wonders has been by far the most fun though! My favorite seconds of this entire day was all of our loved ones making wishes on these balloons and sending them off into the universe to hopefully come true one day. For those of you that wished for children – hooray your balloon wish was granted. For those of you who wished for babies – sorry not sorry. No diapers and midnight feedings in this house. And for those of you that wished for Scott to stop playing his Marvel video game on his cell phone so much 4 years from this date (oh wait that’s just me)…..maybe we need a few more balloons. As this was the happiest day of my life…..this picture below sums up how thrilled I was to have all of my beloved people all under one barn roof. Taryn, you clearly said something I absolutely adored right here. Not a surprise…..My marriage to Scott has gifted me so many things….a loyal partner who said yes when I needed him too. A cozy house to make memories in. An fire family that I love as if I shared blood with them. Feelings of safety and security that I have rarely felt before.

My marriage has also stretched me and I choose to view that as a gift as well. It has been unbelievably hard at times and in those times, we have learned how to communicate, how to take breaks, and how to unselfishly say sorry and make changes. Each day brings about new opportunities to practice those skills and I welcome them if it makes us stronger in the long run. I have learned to restructure my thinking about so many things to find peace and purpose in the good and the bad.

I will not sugar coat this whole adventure by saying it’s all been rosy…even before the added stress of our kiddos being in the mix, Scott and I struggled in our relationship. And now with our Wonders around us, those small rifts in our foundation get a bit bigger with each rumble they add. We continue to reach out for help and it’s carrying us through the lows. Our love and commitment carry us drag us through the conflicts and always lead to healing. The experience of living with broken beings who have endured trauma is definitely not easy and at times can feel incredibly suffocating, but with the grace of powers much bigger than I, I feel a purpose and a mission to love fiercely through all of it and lean towards the ultimate goal of peace and healing for all of us.

Thank you Scott for choosing me, loving our Wonders and me with a fierceness that can move mountains, and for working on yourself so you can be better for US. That work means more to me than all the letters, cards, and flowers you could ever give to me. I love you today and every day.